Have you ever thought about how much you learn from your mother? The lessons are endless, and if you were blessed to have a godly mother, the lessons could be of eternal significance. For my children, I believe they have the best mother they could have ever asked for. I know that I am partial since their mom happens to also be my wife. I love her for so many reasons, but one of the reasons that has found its way to the top of my list is that she is a theologian, and a good one at that. She doesn’t hold the patent on this. Her mother, my mother, and many other godly mothers could have this said of them as well. Every mother is a theologian. The question is, “are you a good one?” My wife, like many other moms who are seeking to please the Lord and help lead their children to the Lord, doesn’t get it right every time. The Lord still has a Niagara Falls-like reservoir of grace, even when she gets it wrong. However, here are a few ways where my wife hits the mark.
A Theologian in the Mundane:
My wife is at home with our 4 rowdy kids most all of the day. She has to clean up water bottle spills, PB&J crumbs, and be a nurse when they fall off their bikes and scrape up their knees. This is just normal everyday life for a mom. However, she tries to never pass up an opportunity to interject the gospel when possible during the day in and day out routine of life. Sometimes, she doesn’t realize that I am just around the corner listening to her. I once heard her explaining the importance of a wise choice to my son, based on the Proverbs comparison of the wise and foolish man, after he had done something foolish for the 5th time in an hour. Deuteronomy 6 says, “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” This is taking the opportunity to be a theologian, even in the mundane things of life.
A Theologian in Her Teaching:
Not everyone has the opportunity to homeschool their kids. We are blessed with the ability to do so. One of the blessings of doing this is being able to have control over what you teach. Each morning we try to open our day with breakfast as a family, and a quick time of family worship. After I rush off to the office, they start their school day. Subject one is almost always the reading of the Proverbs. She will read a chapter from Proverbs, and the children will listen and color a coloring sheet that corresponds to the chapter. My children love it. What they don’t realize is that they are getting a steady diet of God’s Word while they enjoy coloring their sheet of paper. It is amazing to hear them talk about a verse in the Proverbs that stood out to them. Often my sons like the ones like Proverbs 30:17, “The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.” That usually lends access to a fun conversation, but when they have eyes that are filled with anger they have often reminded us of this proverb. Why do they know this proverb, and other scripture? It’s because their mother is a theologian in her teaching.
A Theologian in Her Prayers:
If you have children, you know prayer is something that should be done often. How else do you expect to get through the 10th fight of the day over the same toy, or that crayon that was “accidently” drawn all over your new freshly painted wall? Parenting is not easy, but it is a blessing and a work of sanctification. One of the ways our children learn to pray is by example. Hearing the gospel in our prayers is a wonderful way to lead our children to know the gospel. However, it is not just the words that they hear; they also hear the heart behind it. Good theology is of little use if it is only of the mind and is not fleshed out in the heart and life of a person. My children not only hear scripture when their mother prays, but they see it portrayed as well. Often when they have had to be disciplined for something, she will stop and pray with them in a kind and loving way. This shows them that not only does she know about God, but her love for God is shown to them and is heard in her general prayers and petitions for them. She is a theologian in her prayers, and they hear it.
A Theologian in Her Love:
Good theology is best shown by the love it exhibits. Does having a proper understanding of grace help you to forgive quickly? Does it allow you to discipline your children when they have done wrong, but yet be followed by a long hug and kiss on the cheek? Does your doctrinal stance on the fall help you to love your unsaved children by pointing them to the gospel instead of just saying “oh, they are just kids, you know”? Does your knowledge of God being our father who loves to give great gifts to his children afford you the opportunity to get on the floor and play with your kids instead of folding that 5th load of laundry because your children just want some attention from you? A good theologian knows that the greatest commandment in scripture is to “love the Lord your God . . . and your neighbor as yourself.” Can you get a closer neighbor than your own child? I have seen it time and time again. My wife is tired, worn out, and still has house work to do, yet takes time to love on the kids. Love . . . that is good theology.
My wife is not perfect. She is born into sin like the rest of us. She struggles with fleshly desires and frustrations just like all other Christians. I do not wish to paint a fanciful picture of our home or my wife that is untrue. She has not “arrived” yet as a mother. She would tell you the same with much humility. However, there is no one else on the planet that I would rather have to be the mother to my kids. I never have to fear if she is leading them astray with some errant wind of doctrine. I know she is striving to live out her faith in the mundane, in the education of our children, in her prayers, and just in her general love for our young ones. It is evident in her walk as I watch as an on-looker. I am blessed, as are my children. If you are a mother, please remember that you are a theologian as well. I pray that you will take this aspect of your job seriously. After all, your children need good theology too. So, don’t just show them the love of God, teach it to them with words and actions as well. “. . . Teach them diligently to your children, . . . when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up . . .”
Soli Deo Gloria,
Adam B. Burrell