Author: romans122life

Building a Theological Library for Your Teen

by romans122life, posted in Christianity, Discipleship, family

As your children start to grow older one of the best gifts that you can give them is good theology. This should come in the way of good preaching, and teaching within the local church and the home of course. Yet one of the most helpful and lasting ways of doing this is by helping them to start building a good theological library. The idea would be to start purchasing 2-3 books a year, from the time they are 12 until about the age of 21, so that by the time they are an adult they have many wonderful theological resources at their fingertips to help them grow in grace and maturity. Below is a list of the top 28 book suggestion to start your young adult’s theological library.

Basic Theology:

  1. “Systematic Theology”- Wayne Grudem

This is a monster of a book. It isn’t one that you simply sit down to read from cover to cover, but more of a theological encyclopedia. It hits on every major theme and doctrine of scripture and provides a thorough Biblical explanation of each.

  1. “Christian Beliefs” –    Wayne Grudem

This is the small and more digestible companion to Wayne Grudem’s larger Systematic Theology books. It is a palatable book that is meant to explain the 20 basic doctrines that every Christian should know.

  1. “Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life” –Donald Whitney

This is one of the most helpful books written within the last 50 years. It will help in building lifelong spiritual habits and disciplines.

  1. “Just Do Something” – Kevin DeYoung

As the book title says, it is “a liberating approach to finding God’s will.” It is simple, conscience, and practical, yet straight from scripture.

  1. “Knowing God” – J.I. Packer

We are told to “renew our minds” in Romans 12. One of the best ways to do this is by getting to know God more personally. This is what Packer’s book does . . . he helps the readers to know God on an extremely intimate level.

  1. “What is the Gospel?” – Greg Gilbert

Knowing the gospel and understanding the gospel is key for the people of God. It is a doctrine that we never graduate from. This little book explains the big truths of the gospel in a bit size way. It is wonderful recourse to read over and over again.

  1. “Father, Son, Holy Spirit” – Bruce Ware

This is the best and most practical treatment of the trinity written this decade. It is written from a pastoral perspective, and is invaluable in it’s applications.

  1. “9 Marks of a Healthy Church” – Mark Dever

Where a person attends church matters deeply. In this book Dever explains what a healthy church should look like. There are many “churches” out there, but this is a guide that will help your young adult to find a healthy one as they grow into adulthood.

  1. “The Holiness of God” – R.C.Sproul

This is the single greatest work that the late Dr. Sproul ever wrote. It is here where R.C. explains the true nature of God. You will not be able to walk away from this unchanged.

  1. “Chosen by God” – R.C. Sproul

The balance between man’s responsibility and God’s sovereign choice of sinners unto salvation has been a topic of debate for millennia. In this book Dr. Sproul explains the doctrine of predestination in a simple but biblical way.

 

Apologetics:

  1. “Expository Apologetics” – Voddie Baucham

Expository Apologetics is written with the conviction that apologetics should be both biblical and accessible for the normal layman.  This book is filled with real-world examples and practical advice.  It will equip your young adult with the tools they need to think biblically and to give an answer for the “reason for the hope that is in you.”

  1. “Reason to Believe” – R.C. Sproul

R.C. works though 10 of the most common objections to the Christian faith.  It is a short book (160 pages) but rather full when it comes to its content and helpful in cementing our belief in the Christian faith.

  1. “Scripture Alone” – James White

James White provides a thorough explanation of why the Bible is true, faithful, and completely trustworthy.

 

Bible Helps:

  1. “ESV Study Bible”

The English Standard Version is a faithful word for word translation. This Study Bible has over 12,000 helpful study notes for the reader’s enjoyment and study. It is good for every believer to have a robust study Bible.

  1. “Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary”

This is a helpful resource that can really make scripture come alive. It has more than 700 full color graphics, archaeological research, and canonical book summaries and outlines that will enhance the study of God’s Word.

  1.   “Hymns of Grace”

This is the best hymn book on the market that provides both Christ-centered new hymns mixed with the older and traditional sacred hymnody. The songs have deep and rich theology put to music. It is a wonderful resource to just read at times and soak in the glories of our God and King through its wealth of truths.

 

General Reading:

  1. “The Valley of Vision”

This is a wonderful book to read devotionally.  It is a book made up of Puritan prayers. Besides its poetic beauty, it also provides a peek into the prayer life of some our heroes of the past. Its aim is to cause us to worship and praise our Lord as we read and meditate on the words and even recite the heartfelt prayers as our own.

  1. “Foxe’s Book of Martyrs” – John Foxe

In 1563, John Foxe published an account of the life of Christian martyrs, beginning with Stephen and ending with the most recent martyrs of his day. This book is a faithful reminder of how God used figures such as John Wycliffe, John Huss, Martin Luther, William Tyndale, and so many others has given us our rich Christian heritage. It’s a book every Christian should own.

  1. “Pilgrim’s Progress” – John Bunyan

This is simply the greatest work of fiction ever written. It is an allegorical work that explains the pilgrimage from spiritual death unto spiritual life. C.H. Spurgeon said, “Next to the Bible, the book I value most is John Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress. I believe I have read it through at least a hundred times. It is a volume of which I never seem to tire; and the secret of its freshness is that it is so largely compiled from the Scriptures.”  It is a classic that believers everywhere need to read at least once.

  1. “Shadow of the Almighty” – Elizabeth Elliot

This is a wonderfully moving biography of the life and ultimate martyrdom of Jim Elliot (and four other missionaries) at the hands of the Auca Indians in Ecuador, 1958. Elisabeth Elliot uses her late husband’s diaries to paint the full picture of Jim’s devotion to the Lord, his mission, and points to the complete majesty of the Almighty.

  1. “Through Gates of Splendor” – Elizabeth Elliot

This is the follow up book to Shadow of the Almighty. This details the events that occurred after the missionaries’ death. It shows how the sovereign hand of God would eventually save almost the entire village.

  1. “Don’t Waste Your Life” – John Piper

John Piper packs a real punch in this book.  He challenges an entire generation to let their life count for something. He dares them not to live for themselves but to take godly risk for the sake of the Kingdom. It’s a convicting and possibly life changing book.

  1. “50 Critical Questions” – John Piper & Wayne Grudum

Piper and Grudum set out to answer 50 questions about the roles and responsibilities in both men and woman in light of a complementarian view of men/woman. It is a good book to read cover to cover, but it can also be used as a reference book like an encyclopedia as well.

  1. “50 People Every Christian Should Know” – Warren Wiersbe

This gives a basic overview of 50 different Christians throughout church history that have had major impacts on Christendom. Every biographical sketch is only about 5 pages long and is easily digestible.

  1. “Screwtape Letters” – C.S. Lewis

This is one of Lewis’ best and most unique works in my opinion. It is written from the perspective between an experienced demon and a demon apprentice. Wormwood (the apprentice) seeks help in securing the damnation of a young “believer.” Their correspondence offers interesting insights on temptation, pride, and the ultimate victory of faith over evil forces.

  1. “Radical Womanhood” –  Carolyn McCulley (For Woman)

This is a book about learning to have genuine feminine faith in a feminist world.  It is both scripturally sound and extremely practical. It speaks to everyone Christian woman at any age.

27.  “Thoughts for Young Men” –  J.C. Ryle  (For Guys)

This is biblical, timeless and practical advice for all young men. What if we knew the solution to most of the problems within the church and the world — but did little to nothing about it? Pastor and author J.C. Ryle (1816-1900) asked a similar question more than a century ago in Thoughts for Young Men as he observed the spiritual condition of young men in the culture.

28. “Growing in Godliness: A Teen Girls Guide to Maturing in Christ” – Lindsey Carlson

This is written specifically for teen girls who have made a profession of faith in Christ.  It is written as a type of “What’s next?” book to help girls grow in their faith.

There are so many other books that could have been put on this list.  The thing about growing in grace and having wonderful resources is that it is a lifelong endeavor. It doesn’t start when you are 25, and this list doesn’t have to stop when a person reaches the age of 22. It is my hope that we will all want to be like Paul as we grow old, who in his last few years wanted his “books, and above all the parchments” (II Timothy 4:13). He wanted to study and write. He didn’t just want to live out his life and grow no longer. No, he wanted to “finish the race.” He wanted to keep the faith and finish well. The fact is, most teens are just starting their race. We should want to help them get a good start, and building their theological library is a good and proper way to start. It is a worthy investment. And parents, I hope that it is one that you will consider. You will not regret it.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

Family Toolbox (December 2018)

by romans122life, posted in Christianity, Church, family

Encouragement For Parents Raising Teens

In this short video, Andrew Peterson offers some words of encouragement for raising teenagers as a Christian while living in this modern culture. He says, “When they were first born, my wife and I dedicated them to the Lord. So, in one since they have never belonged to me . . . so we live in the tension of that right now.” The tension that he details is the fact that they belong to him and his wife, yet they also belong to God. If you have 90 seconds, give it a listen.

Family Worship Bible Guide

Joel Beeke and Reformation Heritage have teamed up to produce a wonderful resource for family worship. It is “comprised of family worship thoughts extracted from the Reformation Heritage Study Bible and presenting rich devotional thoughts on all 1,189 chapters of Scripture, this Family Worship Bible Guide may go hand in hand with your Bible to help you lead and nurture your family’s worship and spiritual growth. Use this resource every day alongside Scripture to read each chapter’s major takeaways aloud and then discuss them with your family. With the Holy Spirit’s blessing, this book will transform you and your family!”

Five Thoughts on Training Boys to Be Godly Men

This is an article that I wrote 4 years ago that I believe still rings true today. Maybe it can be of some help to young fathers today.  It may help you understand that “while we cannot make our children trust in the Lord, we can certainly train them up in a way that is biblical and practical at the same time.” I have observed (both from other godly fathers and from scripture) at least 5 ways that I believe can do just that.

It’s Never ‘Just Business’ at Work

Sometime people get the idea that our work is “just work.”  Some believe that it is only a means to provide for yourself or your family. In this article, Brad Larson, challenges that idea and shows what your work is really about. He writes, “’It’s just business,’ they say. But it’s not. When we’re dealing with immortal beings made in the image of a beautiful God, it’s never just business. It’s a divinely appointed opportunity to showcase him and share his love.”

Teens and Body Image

If you have a teen you may know that many today struggle with their self image. They struggle with how they appear before others. They struggle with not having the body of some airbrushed model on the cover page of a magazine. Much of this is misplaced, but it is a real struggle nonetheless. Julie Lowe helps parents think through this issue from a Biblical perspective.  She writes, “This creates a unique challenge, but also opportunities, for parents to minister to their kids. We are all easily consumed and influenced by the world around us. Yet, this is not how God calls his people to live. Instead of taking our cues and standards from the world, it is our Creator who gives us meaning and identity.”

 Wait to Date Until You Can Marry

Casual dating is to modern culture as riding a horse was to a cowboy back in the 1800’s . . . “it is just what you do.” However, this hasn’t always been so. In this article Marshall Segal explains why young people should wait to date and 4 things they can do to prepare for marriage while they wait.  I enjoyed his final charge: “Surprise your friends (and everyone else) by being content to wait to date until you can marry, because you already have everything you need in God.”  I believe this a great article on the subject for both parents and teens to both read.

When Every Kid has a Smartphone, Odds are they aren’t Doing Smart Things with it

Dr. Albert Mohler on his daily briefing a few weeks back hit on some new information that was in an article from the USA today.  Feel free to listen to his entire daily briefing, but if you only want this clip you can fast forward to the 16:45 minute mark.  He provides some excellent commentary and some parental challenges as well.

Soli Deo Gloria

Adam B. Burrell

The 3 Most Important Questions That you Will Ever Answer

by romans122life, posted in Christianity, Church, Marriage, Salvation, The Gospel

Life is filled with questions.  As a teenager you might have asked the question, “Should I go to college or go straight into the workforce after high school?”  As a young married couple the question could arise, “shall my wife (or I – if a woman) stay at home with my children or work to help provide a more stable income for the family economy?”  As a weary college football fan, “Should I still pull for the University of Georgia and have my heart torn out each year when they will inevitably make a foolish mistake and loose the championship?”  No doubt, some questions are more important than others.  Some will have greater consequences than others.  Some will provide a higher risk than others.  In all questions, as a Christian, we should seek wisdom and find our answers from the Scriptures and the godly council of others.  However, among all the questions that we face in life, I believe that there are three that stand above them all.  I believe how you answer these 3 questions will determine not just the joy that you have in life, but the eternity in which you will spend it.  Let’s take a look at these questions.

  1. What Shall I do with Jesus?

This is by far the most important question that everyone must answer in life.  Your eternity hinges on how you answer this question.  In Matthew 16 Jesus asks a similar question when He asks the disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?”  The disciples then explain, “Some say John the Baptist, others say Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”  These were honorable answers.  These were all godly men.  But, the problem with their answers is that they were all wrong.  They had mistaken Jesus as a good man instead of the GOD-man.  There is an eternal and astronomical difference here.  He is God in the flesh, not just flesh who was godly.  Then Jesus turns to them and asks the more personal question, “But who do you say that I am?”  It is there where Peter gives the great confession that Jesus was indeed the long awaited Messiah.  Peter, as the representative of the disciples, got it right.

What you do with Jesus will determine every other thing about you and your life.  When it comes to the judgment day, God will not grade on a curve.  The question is a one question test.  It is pass or fail.  It will not be good enough to say simply that Jesus was a good man.  No, He must be acknowledged as sovereign Lord.  This is evidenced by personal faith and repentance that produces spiritual fruit in one’s life.

What shall I do with Jesus?  All other questions pale in comparison to this one.  Whether you are a 12 year old who has grown up in church, or a tribesman in Africa, the question demands an answer.  This is why it is at the top of the list.

  1. Who shall I marry?

The Proverbs are filled with exhortation about choosing a spouse wisely (Proverbs 5:15, 12:4, 21:9, 27:15).   One of my favorites comes from Proverbs 31:10 which says, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.”  Here we are reminded that the value of a godly wife is of eminent value.  Husbands are instructed to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”  This means a good and godly husband is to love absolutely, and lead sacrificially, just as Jesus did.  When you get married, you are committing to love this person, and live with this person until “death do us part.”  This is part of our vows.  You are meant to complement each other.  The Lord has created you both uniquely for these roles.  However, if you choose your spouse in an unwise manner, it can make for a not so joyous life.

Scripture is clear on the matter.  The Proverbs talk about the quarrelsome woman that is in the home as a constant frustration, like a leaky roof that does not stop dripping (Proverbs 19:13; cf. 25:51). In fact, it says that it would be better to live in the desert or on the corner of a roof than to share a home with a woman of such character (Proverbs 21:9, 19; 25:24).  Ungodly men are no better.  We see the outcome of these types of men displayed in the husbandry of the likes of Achan (Joshua 7), Nabal (I Samuel 25), and Ahab (II Kings 9-10).   Husbands are to love their wives and be the spiritual leaders of their homes.  Wives are to submit to, respect, and be a helping compliment to their husband.  If you choose poorly and without biblical wisdom there is still no out for you when things get hard.  Unless there is a divorceable offense, (which there are only two) you are in it for life.  This is why getting the answer to this question right on the front end makes life much more joyful and livable.  When both parties go into the marriage with God as the anchor, and scripture as their guide, the answer becomes all the more clear.  For it would be better to remain single, than to marry an unbeliever or to marry someone that is not a good fit.  50 or 60 years is a long time to be married.  It would be wise to get this one right.

      3.  Where will I attend church?

You may think that this is an odd question to be on the list of the top 3 most important questions that you will ever answer, but it is here for a reason.  Living in the Southeastern part of the United States, it seems like there is a church on every coroner.  Many falsely believe that most all churches are the same.  In reality, that couldn’t be further from the truth.  There is a reason there are so many denominations.  There is a reason that some families are willing to drive an hour, and past 30 churches, to get to one good solid church.  Not all churches preach the same gospel, or teach about the same Jesus.  The fact is, there is only one Gospel, and only one Jesus that is recorded in Holy Scripture.  You wouldn’t just allow any mechanic to work on your car.  You wouldn’t just let any surgeon to do a life threatening surgery on you.  No, you would want them to be been trained, and know what they are doing.  With this being true, how much more important is choosing a church when it is such a major part of your spiritual life?

It is in the church where you exalt the Lord, receive exposition, get equipped, are edified, exhorted, encouraged, and your family is evangelized.  Just because a church has a beautiful building, a big children’s program, or a hip pastor is no reason to choose to covenant with them in membership.  You want a church that is going to preach and teach the Word faithfully . . .a church that takes the great commission seriously . . . a church that is orthodox in its theology . . . which believes in (and practices) the sufficiency of Scripture.  The sad truth is, there are many churches that are very attractive, yet not very substantive.  There are some who have their orthodoxy right, but their orthopraxy wrong.  There are some who love the old reformers, but seem to hate people.  Solomon wrote, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels” (Proverbs 3:10).  If you replaced the word “wife” with the words “local church” I believe it would be a fitting proverb as well.

Not all churches are the same.  Where you choose to be fed and serve, matters.  What doctrine and practice the church has matters.  You want to be fed from the Word, not man’s opinions.  You want to be equipped biblically in how to live holy, love your spouse, and train your children.  You want your children to be grounded in the Scriptures.  You want them to be around godly men and women who will provide good and godly examples.  The church that you attend has a major role to play in your life.  I believe Tim Challies has it right when he says, “The local church exists to glorify God through worshipping him, edifying his people, and evangelizing the world.”  If this is the purpose of the church, which it is, then where you choose to covenant yourself and family truly matters.  It really, really matters.   If you have to drive an hour to get to a good one . . . drive.  If you have to take a different job to allow yourself to be involved in one, I would encourage you to sharpen your resume.  The church you become a member of will have a major effect on you and your whole family . . . not just now, but for eternity as well.

There they are.  In my opinion, these are the three most important questions that you will ever need to answer.  Every other question in life can be answered with wisdom and a high degree of confidence if you get these 3 right.  With many questions to answer in life, I hope you will put great a priority on these 3 if you haven’t already.  It will be well worth the investment.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

Family Toolbox (November 2018)

by romans122life, posted in Christianity, Christmas, Church, family, Life, manhood, Marriage, Parents

“Are We Really in Danger of Making an Idol of the Family?” – Kevin DeYoung

I love everything about family ministry.  I have been doing it for over 16 years, and Lord willing will do it for the rest of my life.  The spiritual growth of our families should be of utmost importance to us all.  However, there is a real danger when we put too high a priority on family that it will undermine what God has said that He desires for us.  DeYoung writes, “In a world hellbent on redefining marriage and undermining the fundamental importance of the family, Christians would do well to honor and support all those trying to nurture healthy families. And yet, virtually every pastor in America can tell you stories of churchgoers who have functionally displaced God in favor of the family.”

“Husbands, We’re Called to Help Our Wives Grow in Christ” – Randy Alcorn

This is a subject that I have written on many times, but Randy Alcorn really writes a helpful article on the subject on the husband’s responsibility in helping his wife grow in grace as well.  He writes, “There’s a lot of stuff out there that isn’t going to draw you or your wife’s mind and heart toward God. Part of loving and leading her is pointing her toward things that will. The payoff is huge for her, you, your kids, and everyone her life touches.”

“Parents, Take Note of the Spiritual Practices Common to Kids Who Flourish As Adults” – Trevin Wax

As Christian parents, we all want to see our children come to faith and flourish in their Christian walk.  Trevin Wax has provided 5 common practices that will, by God’s grace, help in your children’s spiritual progress in their faith.  “The research indicated that children who remained faithful as young adults  . . . grew up in homes where certain practices were present.”

“Prepare Him Room: Celebrating the Birth of Jesus in Song” – Sovereign Grace Music

If you are looking for some newer Christmas music for this holiday season, this is a wonderful album that your family would enjoy.  This came out a few years back, but if you haven’t had a chance to listen to it, I would encourage you to do so.  “The reality of the incarnation, the Son of God taking on our flesh and bones to save us, will be an eternal source of wonder, gratefulness, and joy. These fourteen songs are our attempt to capture that mystery in song. The long night is over and the light of the world has come. Prepare Him room.”

“Profile of an Evangelistic Home” – Joel Beeke

Have you ever wondered what an evangelistic home might look like?  Here is a sermon that gives a glimpse into what it could look like in your home.  Dr. Beeke gives this chilling reminder in his sermon, “Other than the Bible, you are the best or worst book your children will ever read.”  He lays out what the gospel-centered home looked like in the past, and what it might look like today based off of biblical principles.

“The Torchlighters Heroes of the Faith – DVD Set” 

If you have ever wanted your children to know more about some of the heroes of the faith, then here you can find the animated, true-life stories of Christian heroes retold for young people. In each 30 minute video you can lean about people such as Augustine, Amy Carmichael, Corrie Ten Boom, Jim Elliot, Eric Liddell, and Samuel Morris.  These are wonderfully made DVDs that will allow your children to see God through the lives of great men and women of old.  You can buy all 17 episodes at a discounted price for a limited time.

 “Why My Family Doesn’t Do Santa” – Josh Buice

It is an age old debate within Christian circles. . . Santa or no Santa.  I believe Dr. Buice provides pastoral and fatherly insight on why his family doesn’t do Santa.  He writes, “We want our children to look at the story of a jolly old man who visits us on a red sleigh behind Rudolph and a host of other flying reindeer and find no comparison to the story of the second Person of the Trinity leaving heaven’s throne to be born into poverty as he clothed himself in human flesh—entering the world through the womb of a virgin girl—in order to save his people from their sins.” As you prepare for the Christmas season, maybe this will spark a healthy discussion within your family.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

How to Deal with a Toxic Relationship

by romans122life, posted in Christianity, family, Life

At some point in time in life you have probably had a friend or acquaintance that seemed to have no real positive value in your life.  Instead of building you up, they seem to tear down.  Instead of pushing you on toward holiness, they drag you back toward worldliness.  Instead of making your more like Christ, they end up encouraging you to make devilish decisions.  These relationships can be toxic.  Yet, even when you know they are toxic, it can still be hard to discern how to deal with them.  Do you simply cut them off?  Do you stay in the relationship (often to your detriment) in hopes of changing them?  Do you simply just deal with it and the inevitable consequences that will follow because of the relationship?  I believe Scripture provides some definitive answers when it comes to these types of toxic relationships.  Here are a few things to consider.

Consider What Bad Relationships Can do to You

Weather it be a friend, a family member, or someone that you are romantically involved with, whoever you choose to spend your time with will influence you.  Solomon reminds us that “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” in Proverbs 13:20.  This indicates that those who are influenced by fools often become foolish themselves.  Paul reminds us what bad company can do as well when he writes this warning to the Corinthians, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals’” (I Corinthians 15:33).   Choosing to stay close friends with bad company often leads an otherwise “good” person to do bad things.  Some of these bad things can even lead to great harm.  Look no further than Psalm 1 for this truth.  The man who doesn’t walk, stand, nor sit with the wicked in agreement is said to be “blessed.”  Yet the wicked, who do these things, their way ends poorly.  The writer simply writes that they, “will perish.”  Both Old Testament and New Testament writer provide the same warning: bad relationships can cause great harm to both the soul and body of the persons who are in them.  This is what a bad relationship can do.

Consider What you Might Need to do With These Relationships

You may know that the relationship is not positive, but what can you do about it?  Maybe you have been friends for years.  Yet, what is more important, your relationship to them or your relationship with the Lord?  If they are having a negative effect on your relationship with God, something must be done.  I would tell you to take your soul into account.  Paul says, “Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test” (II Corinthians 13:5).  If this relationship is causing you to sin and you have noticed that you are growing callused to your sin, you need to stop and examine your faith.  If your faith isn’t calling your into warrior-like action against sin, you may well not have genuine saving faith.  It is a scary thing to know that on judgment day that there will be many who cry “Lord, Lord” yet know Him not.  This is why an examination is needed.

After you examine yourself, and if you find yourself to be in the faith it may be time to take some extreme measures in this relationship.  Jesus, in the most famous sermon ever preached, uses hyperbole to express how big a deal it is to get sin under control.  While talking about lust he says, “If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out . . . if your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off” (Matthew 5:28-30).  He is not suggesting physical self mutilation but rather, spiritual mortification.  While this text is directly speaking to sexual sin, the principle can also be applied here by extension.  If your friendship or romantic relationship is toxic, it may be time for a complete detox so as to provide your spirit with the proper nourishment it needs.  Bad relationships most often drain spiritual nourishment, and don’t replenish. It may well be time to cut off this relationship altogether.

Consider How to Help Those Relationships

It is likely that these toxic relationships simply need to end.  The Proverbs are filled with wisdom on this topic.  However, how do you do that in a God honoring way?  The writer of Hebrews says, “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14).  Pursue peace with them.  Explain to them that your relationship with the Lord is suffering and that you need time to focus on Him.  Explain that your current relationship isn’t helping with this.  They may or may not respond to that well, but they need to see your priority is to please God rather than man.

Secondly, you should pray for your friend.  This is one of the areas where Paul commands Timothy to pray.  He writes, “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people” (I Timothy 2:1).  If you are a believer, you have access to the throne room of God that allows you to intercede on their behalf.  You likely, need to have them out of your life for some time physically, but that doesn’t mean that you should stop caring for them in the way of prayer. This is a great way to show that you love them.

Finally, the best possible thing that you could do for them is to present the gospel to them.  The great commission demands us to go and make disciples.  Your friend needs more than good morals, they need the gospel.  They don’t need your friendship as much as they need the favor of the Father.  This is their only hope.  So, pursue peace though explaining your need to back away, pray for them, and if possible present the gospel to them as well.

At best we only get 80-100 years here on earth.  That is actually a very short amount of time when you think about it.  With so little time here, why would you waste it on a toxic relationship?  The Lord has called us to be both salt and light.  We are told to engage the world, but at the same time not to be conformed to it.  So, yes, seek genuine friendships with people who may not be like you . . . who may not even be Christians.  However, do not let them influence you in an unholy way.  If you see this type of toxicity, it is time to pull back from that which is providing the poison.   In a world where we are told that everything seems to be poisoning us (from our food to our water) our relationships are something that we have control over.  Choose what is healthy . . . avoid that which is toxic.  It seems like sound advice for what we put into our body.  Yet, how much more true is it when we think about our soul?

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

The Family Toolbox (October 2018)

by romans122life, posted in Christianity, Church, Discipleship, family
  1. “A Warning for Parents: Instagram is Full of Porn.

Jonathon Van Maren provides an eye opening warning for all users of the ever so popular social media platform, Instagram.  He writes, “Searching for terms like “nude,” “babes” or “sexy” or variations thereof or the name of any porn star in the site’s search bar will quickly uncover accounts that flout the site’s ban on nudity and aren’t filtered to prevent minors from seeing them. #Sexy has more than 57 million posts, many of which are clips from porn videos while #porngirls has more than 300,000 of them.”  This is a helpful article that sounds a warning when trying to help our youth (and ourselves) sort though a world that is saturated with sexual bear traps.

  1. “Divine Sovereignty: The Fuel of Death-Defying Missions”

David Platt will be a keynote speaker at the upcoming G3 Conference on the Mission of God.  Pastor Platt delivered a soul stirring sermon on missions at the T4G Conference in 2012 that has had a lasting impact on many.  He starts out by making this statement, “I have one overarching truth . . . A high view of God’s sovereignty fuels death-defying devotions to global missions.”  For the next hour he lays out the truth with passion and scripture.  It is the best sermon that I have ever heard on missions, and one that I believe would benefit your soul when thinking about the mission of God for His church.  I would encourage you to take the time to soak it in and worship our sovereign Lord through it.

  1. “Getty Kids Hymnal – Family Hymn Sing”

The Getty’s have released the newest children’s CD, and it is excellent.  This time they have recorded many of the churches most cherished hymns sung by children.  If you would like to have your children learn some of the hymns of the faith in a fun way, I would encourage you to check out this new album.  They have recorded songs such as, “All Creatures of our God and King,” “Jesus Paid it All,” and “Power in the Blood.” They have also added some newer hymns as well like, “His Mercy is More,” “In Christ Alone,” and “He Will Hold Me Fast.”  It would be a great album to own as a family and enjoy these hymns of the faith playing in your home and car.

  1. “Prepare Him Room: Celebrating the Birth of Jesus Family Devotional”

Would you like to do something special for the up and coming Christmas season with your family?  This is a way to “share God’s best gift with your family this year and start a lifetime of traditions with this gospel-focused . . . family devotional. Each week includes Bible readings, fun Christmas activities, songs, and an original Christmas story.”  This is set up to start on the Monday after Thanksgiving, so secure your copy now.  I truly believe it will be a blessing to your family as it will point all the fun of Christmas to our wonderful and sovereign Savior.

  1. “Who Do You Love More Anyway, Your Children or Your Spouse?”

A few years back I asked the question of where we place our love when it comes to our family.  Do you love your spouse more or your child?  I wrote that,“Children are a blessing.  Children are a gift from God.  We are to love them.  We are to train them.  We are to thank God for them.  However, they should never consistently come before your spouse.  Marriage, not parenthood, is a picture of Christ and the Church.  Marriage is a life-long covenant by design.  While parenthood is life-long as well, the meat of it is only brief.”  It is a question that I challenge you to ponder on today.  I hope this article will help you to think through this question.

  1. “12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You.”

This is one of the more challenging books that I have read in the past several years.  It was both extremely convicting, yet extremely practical. “Drawing from the insights of numerous thinkers, published studies, and his own research, writer Tony Reinke identifies twelve potent ways our smartphones have changed us — for good and bad. Reinke calls us to cultivate wise thinking and healthy habits in the digital age, encouraging us to maximize the many blessings, to avoid the various pitfalls, and to wisely wield the most powerful gadget of human connection ever unleashed.”  If you want to be challenged in your daily Smartphone habits, this is the book to do it.  If you would like listen to a 30 minute podcast with an interview with Tony Reinke on the book, you can also check that out here.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

The Family Toolbox (September 2018)

by romans122life, posted in Uncategorized

Here are some helpful tools for the family for September 2018.

  1. “The Insanity of God.”
    A few week s ago my church had a special evening service where we were able to pray for the nations as a corporate body.  In 2017, there was a dramamentry produced called “The Insanity of God.”  This is a film that is based on “the true story of missionaries Nik and Ruth Ripken. After the death of their son, this ordinary couple journeys into the depths of the persecuted church, asking the question- IS JESUS WORTH IT?”  This is not your typical cheesy low-budget Christian film.  It is extremely well done and I believe that it would do you well to pick a copy up so that you can better understand how to pray for the persecuted church as well as worship our marvelous God for his work there and all over the world.
  2.  “Is He Worthy?” – Andrew Peterson
    On Sunday, September 16th Pray’s Mill Baptist Church had the pleasure to take part in our annual “Revelation 5 Sunday” service.  What a blessed day it was.  This past Spring singer and songwriter, Andrew Peterson, released his latest album (Resurrections Letters) and one of the songs on it is entitled “Is He Worthy?”  It is a song based off of Revelation 5.  It is a beautiful song that I have personally worshiped through over the past several months.  It is one that I would commend to you as well if you haven’t heard it.  As you listen,  contemplate what it will be like to worship our Lord with people made up of every tribe, tongue, and nation.
  3.  “Raising Our Children to be in but not of the World” – Tim Challies
    In this quick 7 minute video (or you can read the transcript) Tim gives some helpful tips on how to raise our children to not be helplessly naïve of this world and yet not engrossed in the things of the world either.  Challies says, “So as parents we want to protect our children, yet we also try to raise them so they can exist and thrive in this messed up world.”  This is much needed and simple advice from a brilliant and straightforward teacher of God’s Word.
  4.   “Dads – Preparing Yourself for the Second Shift” – Greg Gibson
    A few years back a friend of mine wrote this article for the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood that I found to be very helpful when it comes to preparing yourself for your second job when you get home dads, as father/husband. “The second shift is no longer a time of rest, but a time of work.  Good work . . .hard work . . . God-honoring work . . . Warrior-like work. It is here that we work in faithfulness, then fruitfulness, but never idolatry.”  Dads, I hope that you will read this and consider the implications.
  5. “ESV Student Study Bible”
    Christianbook.com is a wonderful source to find Bibles for inexpensive prices.  It is my desire to get a solid Study Bible into the hands of all teens and pre-teens.  I believe having a hard copy of the Bible is one of the best ways to participate in Sunday school and the sermon each Lord’s Day.  If you child doesn’t already have one, I would suggest taking a look at these nicely designed and trustworthy ESV Student Study Bibles.  They would make a great Christmas present.
  6.  “The Biggest Story: How the Snake Crusher Brings us Back to the Garden” – Kevin DeYoung
    This is one of the best children’s books that I have ever read.  It has bright and colorful illustrations but the content is theologically rich.  Deyoung, “leads kids and parents alike on an exciting journey through the Bible, connecting the dots from the garden of Eden to Christ’s death on the cross to the new heaven and new earth.”  It is one that you will want to put in your family library.
  7.  “5 Principles for Disciplining your Child.” – Melissa Kruger
    There are a lot of different ideas about what the most effective way of disciplining    children.  Here, Melissa Kruger, provides 5 helpful ways for us to correct and train    our children in righteousness.  She proved a helpful reminder when she writes,        “These discipline principles have helped my husband and me, but they are limited.        Only God can change our children’s hearts. All the parenting wisdom in the world        cannot save or transform our children; only Jesus can.”  While only God can fully        change the heart, we too have a responsibility of training and disciplining in a way  that points our children to the freedom found in Christ.  I believe this article may      provide some helpful tips when it comes to the issue of discipline.
    Soli Deo Gloria,Adam B. Burrell

A Prayer for Struggling Moms

by romans122life, posted in Uncategorized

One of the hardest things in the world as a husband and father is to watch your wife struggle with the day-in and day-out demands on her life when it comes to her children in the home.  Often we men are “fix-it” guys.  We see a problem and we want to drive at a solution to fix it.  There is certainly value in this, but we cannot always fix the difficulty of schedules that need to be kept, the needy children calling for help three times in a thirty second time span for 3 different things, and the hundred other needs that we may never know about.  Men are at work… and that is a good thing.   It is what God intended for us.  Do we men need to be prepared to work our second shift jobs at the family home?  Sure, but our wives need more than this.  They need our daily prayers as well.  This is part of our calling to wash her in the word (Ephesians 5:26), that Paul commanded the Ephesian church to do.

Today I want to offer a prayer that I believe we husbands should be praying over our wives frequently.  Today, you ladies might pray this prayer as well to help you with those little vipers in diapers that we all love so much, yet can put so much stress on our lives.

A Prayer for Patience

It has been said that patience is a virtue.  It is indeed a virtue, but it is not often one that we come by naturally.  Just as it takes a lot of heat and pressure to fuse atoms and carbon together to make a diamond, it often takes heat and pressure time and time again for patience to be produced.  Paul tells the church at Ephesus to walk properly as a Christian when he wrote, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,  with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.”  Dealing with the fourth spill of the day, and that sinful sassy attitude from your nine year old can be very trying.  The flesh can often fall into a place of weakness.  Yet, scripture encourages us to be patient and long-suffering.  Today, pray for patience.  Pray that the Lord will calm your anxiety and trust that He is doing something through these momentary situations for both you and your children.

A Prayer for Peace

Jeremiah instructed the exiles to pray for peace and prosperity for the city of Babylon in Jeremiah 29.  He said, “Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”  The people of God had just been taken captive by a pagan people.  They were the captives of a war. They were going to be in a foreign land for 70 years, but Jeremiah reminds them to pray for the peace of Babylon.  Now, a young and tired mom may think that a 70 year exile sounds like a better alternative than her daily routine of dealing with a bunch of four and six year olds.  The fact is, this mother is at war.  She is often at war spiritually with her old self, the flesh, who wants her to give into a sinful tirade.  Yet, her new man who is “created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22-24) is to be the victor in this battle.  The end result of war is peace for the victor.  We know that for all those who are in Christ that the victory has already been won.  Thus, today we pray to live within that victory.  Even if your homes may feel like a warzone and you are constantly having to put out small skirmishes, rest in the fact that the Prince of Peace is with you.  Pray that you will respond peacefully, and rest in the work that the Lord is doing.  Flood your mind with the words of Jesus, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:27).  Let this bring calm and comfort on those days of trials.

A Prayer for Perseverance

I once heard a pastor remark that it is easier to die as a martyr than to live as one.  What a true statement.  The reason it is true is because of one word: perseverance.  Perseverance is hard work.  It can be soul pounding work.  When you are flush in the face and ready to scream… persevere.  When you cannot handle another midnight call from child number three that they need to eat… persevere.  When your child is in tears over not understanding their math, and you feel helpless to help them yourself… persevere.  Your children are watching how you react when faced with opposition.  What an opportunity to show them the gospel at work.  How you react in times of pressure is an expression of the gospel to them.  Paul writes these words of encouragement to a struggling church, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).  Stressed, sleep deprived, counselor mom, don’t give up and give in to the stresses of the day.  Go to the Lord in prayer.  Go to Him in His Word and be filled.  He alone can give us the rest that we all need.  Trust that He is doing something through the daily stresses and messes.  Respond the way that He wants us to respond. Persevere to the glory of God.

Being a mother is no joke.  It is a very high calling if the Lord calls you to it.  There is no way to get though it without constant and consistent prayer.  Mothers, pray these things today.  Husbands, pray these things over your wife today.  Go to the Lord on her behalf.  Ask the Lord to grant her a respite.  Ask the Lord to grant her an extra measure of patience to deal with your sons.  Ask Him to give her a day of peace, but if there is no peace to have, pray that she may find peace in the storm.  Ask him to give her endurance and perseverance.  Dads, be prepared yourself to get busy as a second-shift dad in helping her when you arrive home.  It is not only your duty, but your privilege as well.  Pray for patience, peace, and perseverance.  And may the Lord be honored in you, struggling mom.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

“The Family Toolbox” (August 2018 Edition)

by romans122life, posted in Uncategorized

It is my absolute joy to serve as an Associate Pastor to the families at Pray’s Mill Baptist Church.  One of my jobs as a pastor is to be a source of resources for the families there.  Over the years I have compiled a lot of helpful links and tools that are useful for family ministry.

Each month I plan to provide a list of 5-7 resources that may be helpful in the process of discipleship in your home.  It will simply be entitled “The Family Toolbox.”  I will provide a link and a brief summary in hopes of providing quality tools for your personal family toolbox. The topics will span from issues of child rearing and marriage strengthening , to cultural trends that families need to be aware of.   I take my job of “equipping the saints for the work of ministry” very seriously within my local church, but it is also my prayer that these tools will be a blessing to you and your home.   I hope these will be useful.

  1. “How to Help Your Children Become Better Sermon Listeners”

In just a few words, pastor David Prince unpacks the question, “How would you explain to children in grade school what a sermon is and what they should be doing during the sermon?”  This is a great blog with quick tips for your young sermon listeners to get all that they can out of the Lord’s Day service.   You can also print out some notes for your young sermon listeners here as well:
Sermon Notes for Older Kids 2
Sermon Notes for Younger Kids

  1. Parental Control for the Internet: Disney Circle (a Review)

There are many internet safety devices out there, and some are better than others.  Here is a quick review on one of the more popular ones.  Disney circle is “a small, white box that pairs with your existing Wi-Fi router.  The Disney Circle Home allows you to control and monitor all of the devices on your home’s Wi-Fi network.”

  1. Passport to Purity

Do you have a pre-teen that needs to hear about sex, purity, and “dating?”  Passport to Purity is a toolkit that is set up for a weekend get away with mom and daughter or father and son.  “The getaway kit equips you to cover what can seem like awkward topics in a fun and engaging way.”  It is one of the best resources for families on the subject.  It looks at these issues from a purely biblical perspective, but in a sensitive way.  I cannot encourage each parent of a preteen enough to check this out.

  1. Make ‘God Talk’ an Everyday Part of Family Life

Have you ever wanted to be able to have more godly conversations with your children and teens?  In this article, Julie Melilli provides a few simple ways to make that a reality in your home.  (I don’t support everything that The Gospel Coalition publishes, but this is a very helpful article on the subject.)

  1. “Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World,” book Reviews

This past weekend my church hosted its first annual “Mother and Daughter Banquet.”  Our guest speaker spoke on the subject of living out a feminine faith in a feminist world.  Here is a quick book review of a book by the same title that Mrs. Christic Henery used as the basis of her talk.  You can also check the book out and purchase a copy of it as well if you are interested in digging a little deeper.

  1. Men of whom the World was not Worthy (Biographical Sermons by John Piper)

Not everyone has the time, nor desire, to sit down and read the biographies of godly men and women of the past.  Now you have the opportunity to learn about them and have your faith strengthened simply by listening.  For the past 25 years Pastor John Piper has been doing biographical sketches/sermons on some of the heroes of the faith in church history.  Each sermon is about an hour long.  It would be perfect to listen to on your drive back and forth from work, while working around the house, or mowing the lawn.  It is one of the most beneficial sermon series that I have ever listened to.

  1. Another “Self-Harm” Challenge to be Aware of

Suicide is a very big deal and the rates of them have increased in recent years.  You may or may not be aware, but there is a new app that your teen and preteen can download that is being deemed as a “suicide” app.  Please be aware of what your children are doing on their phones, and warn them about apps such as this one.

If you find a helpful article that you think would be useful for the church body to read, feel free to shoot me an e-mail (adam@praysmill.com) with the link and I may add it to the monthly list.

“May the Lord bless you and keep you,” readers.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

Smart Phone Etiquette and the Christian

by romans122life, posted in Christianity, Discipleship, Life, Technology

My wife grew up being taught proper etiquette.  I grew up, well, not really caring about etiquette.  Early on in our marriage it caused some interesting conversations about why we do what we do.  Do we do it because it is culturally proper, or is there a deeper purpose?  When I would do something that was not considered “proper etiquette,” my wife would not always feel amused by it.  My response, more often than not, was “chapter and verse please.”  What I meant by that was, “proper etiquette” should be grounded in scripture and not just cultural acceptance.  Emily Post may have understood high class society in the early 20th century, but could she ground it in the Word?

Today, one would be hard pressed to look and see a world without cell phones.  We use them for business, for pleasure, and everything in-between.  Since this is true, shouldn’t there be some type of cell-phone etiquette?  This wonderful technology (the smart phone) has a way of connecting us to millions of people in the world at any second of the day, but it also has a way of dividing us and separating us into a type of real-life social isolation.  There is no reason to allow such a beneficial technology to cause us to lose our Christian decorum.  While Paul didn’t use an iphone, the idea of selfish desires wasn’t lost on him.  He wrote, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).  When we decide to let face-to-screen interaction trump our face-to-face interaction we are not “counting others as more significant.”  What we really are saying is, “my need to see what this ping is telling me is more important than you.”  This is a lesson that I am still preaching to myself (I Corinthians 9:27).  I don’t have it mastered yet . . . but I am working on it.

There are three areas that I believe we can look to this text and apply it when it comes to smart-phone etiquette.

The Phone Call:

We have all been there.  We are standing talking to a friend, and we hear that familiar sound going off in our pocket.  We have no clue who it is, but we have that insatiable desire to pick it up.  That euphoric tug is so great that it causes you to pull it out, and at least glance at the caller ID.  Now, is this somehow sinful or wrong to look at the caller ID in the middle of conversation?  I would say, not always, but maybe.  Unless you are expecting an important phone call it would be wiser and more loving to wait and see who is calling you when there is a break in conversation.  The person standing in front of you is real.  They are there in the flesh, image bearers of God.  They are not made up of plastic and pixels.  If you are checking your phone out of curiosity and not necessity you may need to check your heart to see if that is a violation of the Philippians 2 teaching.  There are times when you need to be on call, but if you are just in regular conversation and you keep looking at your phone, or even worse, picking it up in the middle of the conversation, what is that saying to the person you are talking to?  Most likely, the call can wait.  Wait for a break in the conversation, and then check your phone.  It seems to be a good way to show love for your neighbor over yourself.

The Text Conversation:

Texting is one of the most convenient and often-used forms of communication today. Eighteen years ago texting was the new kid on the block and you actually had to pay for each text that was sent.  Today, the average person will send nearly 2,000 texts a month; or 66 a day in the U.S.  With that amount of texts being sent, there is always a chance for you to have your face buried in the phone sending a message.  Here is the picture again, you are talking with a close friend when the Pharaoh in your pocket comes screaming at you in the way of a vibration.  What shall you do?  Will you bow you knee to the Pharaoh’s command, or say “No, it can wait”?  Denying your inner, and near innate, desire to read your text while engaged with someone else is a real desire.  However, is it one that you should give yourself over to?  Paul reminds us that we are to “discipline ourselves for the purpose of godliness.”  Thinking of someone else and denying your desires to check that last buzz on your phone is a godly act (I Timothy 4:7-8).  As a general rule of thumb . . . if it is that important, they will call.  If you receive a call just moments after a text, then that is a good enough reason to excuse yourself from the conversation to check and see what is needed.

The Social Media Post:

Social media can be addictive.  According to the latest research, roughly 60% of all social media is seen via your smart phone.  That is roughly an hour a day on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube, etc.  Let’s set the scene: you are at a social event enjoying your time there.  The ding goes off . . . someone just shared your post.  People are starting to comment about your picture. You want to see what people are saying.  So you disengage, and find that comfortable and familiar place in front of the glow of your screen.  You don’t even realize it, but the world is spinning around right in front of you, all the while you are letting your thumb do its workout.  I have been there, I hate to admit it.  I have been there way too often.  I have fallen into the black hole of social media all while my children or my wife have been trying to get my attention.  Social media has its place, but when it causes us to count ourselves more significant than others, we have a major etiquette problem.  More than that, we have a sin problem.  If this is true, it is not something that we can agree to disagree on.  It is something that we must mortify.

Some Suggestions

  1. Recognize the problem. Seek the scriptures for answer.  Like I said, I believe Philippians 2:3-4 has the answer to most of our cell phone etiquette problems.  If we believe in the sufficiency of Scripture, we need to let Scripture speak to our smart phone habits.
  1. Have a set plan.  Know what you are going to do before the phone rings, dings, or pings.  Don’t just know the plan, but stick to it.
  1. Turn off all notifications.  If you want to know who all likes your post, you can do that at a designated time.  We must always remember that we own our cell phones, they don’t own us.  Yet, when we leave on all of our notifications, it can be a real test of ownership when she comes calling.
  1. See face-to-face interaction as valuable.  Don’t let your plastic mistress rob you of the joy of being face to face with your family and friends.  No screen time will ever be able to take the place of face time.

We live in a day and age where the cell phone rules the day.  Let us never forget that Scripture has an answer for every area of our life.  If there is any advice that I could give (not just you but myself as well) in the way of cell phone etiquette, it would be from the lips of Jim Elliot: “Wherever you are, be all there.”  Don’t get sucked into your phone at the expense of the people around you.  You tell your phone what you want it to do and make sure that it listens.  Wherever you are, don’t let your smart phone take you away from there.  It isn’t proper etiquette and it really isn’t Christ-like either.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell