Category: Bible

A Bible Reading Plan That is Music to My Ears

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity, Worship

This time of year is often filled with many things that can tend to keep us busy.  With the business of life, we can often let some of those things that we really want to do fall by the wayside.  One of those things may well be your Bible reading plan.   If you are anything like me, it is always my goal to read the Bible through at least once a year.  It is usually this time of the year when I start looking for the next plan or guide to help me read through the Bible in a year.

Over the years I have tried many different plans.  Some that were good, and others that I didn’t care for as much.  The one that has been a good fit for me the last few years has been the 5 Day Bible Reading Program.  It is the one that I plan to use again this year.  It works best with my busy travel schedule.   Yet, this year I am adding a bit of a twist to my reading plan.  Often, when I am reading the Scripture, a hymn tune will pop into my mind that pairs well with the text I’m reading.  I love hymnody . . . both old and new.  I love to read and hear theologically rich lyrics paired with beautiful music.  I love to sing.  So, this past year I started jotting down the hymns that came to mind as I read the Scriptures each day.  I have now compiled a list of hymns, along with links to each tune on YouTube, that I plan to use each day to add to my time with the Lord.  I believe it will enrich my quiet time that I seek to have each day. 

 I compiled this list really for me, but if you would like to follow along this year as I read the Word and sing the Word, I would love for you to do so.  You may even find some new songs along the way.  You may or may not want to listen to the versions of the songs that I have chosen.  That is totally understandable and completely up to you.  You may choose instead to simply read the hymn from your favorite hymn book.  This too would provide spiritual nourishment as well.  You can find the vast majority of the listed songs in the Hymns of Grace hymnal, my preferred hymn book. So, open up a songbook and read the great songs of our faith along with your daily Bible intake.

You can check out (or print) a copy of the Reading and Listening Plan here.

If you would like a playlist of the songs, you can look for a Spotify playlist coming soon as well.   

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

No, Your Teen Doesn’t “Need” a Smartphone

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity, Discipleship, family

I know what you are thinking after reading the title.  Maybe you have a teen or pre-teen and you are trying to decide whether or not to get them a phone.  You may be thinking, “Yes, I know they might end up spending too much time on their phone, but I will feel safer knowing that they have one.  I’ll be able to check on them whenever I want to see exactly where they are.  I’ll be able to call them any time I need them and they’ll be able to get a hold of me any time that they need.”  When the subject comes up with your kid all you hear is, “Mom/Dad all of my friends have one.  How am I supposed to keep up with what is going on if I don’t have one? This is just how things are living in our world today, you know?  If I don’t have one then I am going to be made fun of.  I will be the only one of my friends without one.”  I know it can be hard to say “no.”  You can rationalize the good in your mind.  But, I want you to strongly consider saying, “no” to that Smartphone request.   If you say, “no,” know that you will be in the minority.  However, I truly believe that you and your family will be far happier and safer if your teen doesn’t have one in their hands.  I believe that it is most wise to say no to the Smartphone until after High School.  Let me provide a few reasons as to why.

The Addiction Factor:

Let’s face it, Smartphones are addictive.  Most anyone can see it, and recent statistics confirm it.  We also know that many teenagers already deal with compulsive behavior.  Putting addiction and compulsion together is a receipt for disaster.  This is not just a teenager issue.  The reality is many adults, who didn’t grow up in the digital age, have a near addiction to their Smartphones.  If adults have a hard time finding the balance with Smartphones, teens who are still trying to learn these skills have little chance of overcoming it on their own.   According to a recent article by Harvard University, when a person gets a social media notification, their brain sends a shot of dopamine to the brain causing a euphoric experience.  Dopamine is most often associated with food, exercise, romance, sex, gambling, drugs, and now that little black pixelized box in the hands of hundreds of millions of people. When many of our teens struggle enough with compulsive behavior does it seem wise to give them something that is going to tempt them toward that end even more?  Paul, in I Corinthians 9:27 writes, “but I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”  In this day and age it takes discipline to control our phone habits; discipline that many teens lack the desire or self-government to do.  If we want to help our teens hone in on discipline and self-control then putting a smart phone in their hand will likely contradict this.           

The Pornography Factor:

When many of us were teens pornography was hard to come by (praise the Lord).  But that is not true in today’s world.  27% of all unfiltered internet is pornographic.  In 2020 a study was done that showed some 51% of all 11-12 year-olds polled were aware of and had access to pornography, 13-14 year-olds . . . . 66%, 15-16 year-olds . . . an astonishing 79% .  It is available on almost every social media platform.  The accessibility to pornography is near unfettered.  If a teen has a Smartphone, internet access, and a desire to see pornography, they can find it in a matter of seconds.  Pornography can rob your soul (Matthew 16:26).  It can cost personal relationships (Ephesians 5:3).  It can cost a person sexual joy with their future spouse (Song of Solomon 8:4).  Paul says that we are to “Flee sexual immorality”(I Corinthians 6:18).  A loving father or mother would not give their child a pornographic magazine nor a XXX movie for their birthday.  However, you are inviting these things into your home and the mind of a pubescent curious teen by giving them a Smartphone.  You may not be able to keep your son or daughter from having lustful thoughts, but you can keep the digital temptation and call of the Siren out of their hands.              

The Time-Sink Factor:

According to Common Sense Media, 53% of American children own a Smartphone by age 11.  The average teen in the U.S. spends some 7 hours a day on their Smartphone (outside of school and any extracurricular activities.)  This is a lot of screen time. Just like adults, teens can easily get sucked into the blue faced vortex of their Smartphone as they mindlessly scroll through social media.  The Apostle Paul commanded the church in Ephesus to redeem the time, because the days are evil (Ephesians 5:16).  There is a place for leisure.  There is a place for playing games, reading articles, and catching up with friends.  But, we all know the allure of that digital mistress.  Teens have so many wonderful things that they could be doing with their free time that could be productive.  Time is a gift from God for teens.  They will never again have as much free time as they do now.  This is precious time that they will never get back.  Smartphones can be the source of a massive waste of time if not checked.  Time is a gift.  Help your teens to be good stewards of it.      

The Safety Factor:

Many parents may think that there is more danger outside of the home than in the digital world.  But recent statics have shown that violent crime has significantly dropped over the past 30 years.   One of the most dangerous places for teens to be today is actually online. Cyberbullying is no joke.  It is reported that between 50-60 percent of teens who are on social media have been cyberbullied.  Since the invention of the Smartphone 10 years ago teen suicide rates have quadrupled.  Diagnosed anxiety has more than doubled since the invention of the Smartphone.  These are some alarming statistics, both of which are closely tied to Smartphone usage. 

Yet, bullying is not the only danger.  There is story after story about predatory behavior as well.  It can come in the form of sexual, emotional, or psychological abuse through apps and other online sources.  This can happen without the other person ever being in the same room.  Sadly, some of these encounters have eventually led to real physical abuse.

Now this isn’t limited to Smartphone users.  This can happen through any device that hooks up to the internet.  But know this: if your child’s Smartphone connects to the internet the safety factor increases exponentially.  Jesus told his disciples, “be wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16).  As parents we must heed these words from Christ when considering the safety of our teen or pre-teen.  You must ask yourself, “Am I being as wise as a serpent when considering this phone?”  Because, I promise, smartphones are not nearly as innocent as they may seem.   

Applying Wisdom

What I have laid out here, I believe, it to be based on biblical wisdom.  I am aware that a Smartphone itself is not sinful.  However, we must ask if it is wise and best for our teenage sons and daughters? I know there are circumstances where a Smartphone may be necessary for your teen (to monitor their health for example).  I know in this day and age it will likely put your teen on the outside looking in with their friends.  But remember this: you are their parent.  You get to decide what is best for them, not their peers.  Not society.  Don’t give in to your son or daughter’s tears or youthful persuasion.   You are going to stand before God to answer for how you shepherded your home.  Fathers, you particularly will be judged on how you protected your family as the head of your home in this matter.  So, I ask you to sincerely consider what has been written here before busting out your credit card for another monthly payment on that $800 iPhone for your 13-year-old.  However, if you have prayed through it and you still believe that your teen “needs” a phone, let me provide a couple of safe(ish) options for you. 

The Gabb Z2 phone: 

It looks like a Smartphone, but without the worries.  It has no social media, no web browsing, no games, and no app store.  It cannot hook up to the internet at all.  So, no worries.  What you do get with it is 14 essential apps: music, phone, messaging, contacts, camera, video, gallery, calendar, calculator, clock, voice recorder, FM radio, file manager and settings.  It also has a built in GPS.  If you are looking for a smart phone that isn’t so smart, this one might fit the bill (It is only $100).

The dumb phone: 

That’s right, a simple flip phone that we all had back in the day that takes horrible pictures and can only text and call.  If your teen needs a phone, the old trusty flip phone may be the best choice.

No phone at all:

I think it is wise to have an extra cell phone or two for your family.  When your children are old enough to drive it seems wise that they would have a phone with them in case it is needed while driving.  However, I know many families who just have a “family cell phone” that they grab while going out the door.  It isn’t any one person’s phone.  It is just for the purpose of having access to the phone when it is needed.  It is not constantly on a person but is picked up when walking out the door.   

Concluding Thoughts          

My final admonition as I close would be to take 90 minutes to sit down with your spouse  and watch the film Social Media Dangers Documentary — Childhood 2.0.  I am convinced that it will open your eyes to a world that you may have never knew existed, but it is one that your teen or soon-to-be teen will live in (for better or worse) when it comes to Smartphones and social media.  May the Lord guide you in this area with his rich biblical wisdom.  And for the sake of your children and future grandchildren remember this little proverb: when it comes to a phone for your teen, the dumber it is, the wiser and better off your kid will be.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

“How I trained my little ones to sit still and quiet” (by Jessica Burrell)

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity, Church, Discipleship, family

This is a follow-up post to my previous post “Help, The Church Nursery is Closed!” in which I reference training your children at home to be content to sit quietly.  Once you are out in public, it is too late to ask them to behave in some new way that you have never taught them.  This post is an effort to convey how I trained my little ones in the peace and comfort of our home.  The Lord says to train up our children in the way they should go (Prov. 22:6), to train them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph 6:4), and to teach them to have a quiet and gentle spirit, which the Scriptures say is “precious in God’s sight” (1 Pet. 3:4).  I have tried to apply these Scriptures in some practical ways at home while teaching my children to sit quietly and respectfully.

So how do you start? Start slowly.  Start with 5 minutes, maybe less.  Sit on the couch with Mommy and children together reading a book or singing a hymn, all engaged in the same activity.  The purpose is to stay in the designated place for the duration of the time.  Most children love this quality time of having Mommy’s attention to themselves, and they rarely have any trouble complying.  The next step is to tell the child that they must read (or look at) their own book while Mommy reads a book separate from the child or works on something independent from the children, while still sitting on the couch right beside them.  In the first step, the child is the central focus.  In this second phase, the child will begin to realize that the point of being on the couch is not for Mommy to cater to their wishes, but rather for them to find contentment on their own.  While you need to be instructing the child in step one, this second step is more where reinforcing and teaching the child your expectations really comes in.  Tell the child “you may not squirm around and climb down to the floor.” And “Mommy has a timer set for 5 minutes. When it beeps, we will be all done.  Then you may get down and play.”  The child may not ask “how much longer” or similar questions.  The child must learn to be content to wait patiently until the time is done and Mommy says that it is time to get down.

I should clarify that “Still and quiet” time in our home meant no talking or moving around.  You stay in your place and entertain yourself with one quiet toy or book.  If this object was used to harass a sibling, it would be taken away, and the remainder of the time would be spent with hands folded neatly in the lap.  I do not exaggerate when I say that I can count on one hand how many times objects had to be taken away from my children in public.  They learned this lesson very well at home!  Consider anything a small child will normally do when they do not want to be still…roll around on the seat, scoot down to the floor, then they end up under the seat, or army-crawling to a nearby location.  Their innate intent is to push the limits and see how far is too far.  You as the mother need to decide what will be acceptable for your children while in public.  Are you okay with them sitting on the floor at the doctor’s office or crawling on the floor down to the end of the pew at church?  If not, be sure that you are firm in your training at home.  For us, no arm waving, clapping, or moving off the seat was permitted.  Depending on age, lying down quietly in one’s spot (not rolling) was permitted.

After the children have gotten the hang of a 5-minute interval of being quiet and occupying themselves with Mommy on the couch, the next step is to have Mommy get off the couch and do something else nearby, while leaving the children on the couch having their “still and quiet” time.  For example, I will tell the children to come and sit. Then, once they have been reminded of the rules of “still and quiet” time, I will step away while warning the children that I will be watching to make sure they do a good job.  I might sit in another area of the same room and make a call to schedule dental cleanings, while maintaining frequent eye contact with the children so they know I am paying attention to their behavior.  If a little one decides they aren’t interested in the training session, their behavior is quickly dealt with and they resume their time on the couch.  Quick and consistent discipline is necessary in this training time.  You will be training your children regardless of how you handle the situation.  While they are in the living room, it might be easy to warn them, “Mommy said get back on the couch… I mean it!”  But consider if this method will be an option in church or in the doctor’s office.  You want to train them to listen the first time, not the second or third.  They must learn to obey immediately and to realize that there will be swift consequences when they do not.  There will be no “easy out” if they disobey.  The training session will continue on after discipline has been handed out.

Once the children are able to sit quietly while you perform other tasks in the same room, the real test comes.  “Still and quiet” while Mommy leaves the room!  This was always our children’s favorite part of the training times.  I would have the children sit (they were permitted one quiet toy) while I left the room to set a timer and then come back in to check on them and see if they were still in the same place and quiet.  I might go put a letter in the mailbox but quickly return and pop in the room to surprise the children.  This can be a very fun activity.  The children never know what corner you might pop out around or what you might be wearing on your head when you return.  The “away” might be anywhere from 5 seconds to 15 seconds to begin with.  You want to help them keep their attention on the task at hand.  Don’t make this sitting session a miserable thing for them.  My children would often forget the toy they had in their lap and prefer to watch out for when I would pop my head back in the room to see how well they were doing.  I would give silent accolades whenever I peeked in and saw that the children were still doing as I had asked.

You may notice a natural progression in this: very small and familiar steps to begin with, then moving up to bigger steps.  This will not happen overnight.  I would recommend having a practice session every day, or a five-minute session in the morning and another one in the afternoon, depending on the age and personality of your child.

After the children can manage a 5-minute segment of time on the couch on their own with Mommy in and out of the room, it is time to add more time to the clock.  I would graduate them to 10-15 minutes on the couch with one quiet activity of their choice, whether it is a toy, a reading book, or a notebook with a pencil or crayon.  If the children are misbehaving or not obeying the way they should, the offending child must be removed and disciplined and brought back to resume their sitting time.  Meanwhile, the other children are expected to continue sitting quietly.  This has helped immensely during the years that my husband has been in a pastoral position and has been unable to assist me in the pew with the children.  I have been able to take the rowdy child out of the service to address behavior while leaving all of the other children (yes, even a two-year-old) sitting quietly in the pew without me in the room, knowing that they would sit still because they dare not be the next one leaving the sanctuary with me.

I have one last comment on praising your little ones for doing well.  Rewarding our children when they do well is not the same as bribery.  Bribery is a parent’s last attempt at getting what they want from their child.  It is a negotiation that puts the child in control of the situation and puts the parent at their mercy.  Rewards and positive affirmation for good behavior are very different than that.  When I ask my child to do something and they do it right away and with a cheerful heart, rewarding them in some way is a great way to help encourage and motivate the child to do it again.  They have honored me, and I want to bless them because of it.  This is a good and wholesome way to encourage good behavior in our children.

In my other post, “Help, The Church Nursery is Closed!” I talk about preparing for Sunday morning by starting on Saturday.  I mention that “less is more” when packing activity bags for kids in church or the doctor’s office, and I give a few other ideas like finding a seat near the exits and arriving early to claim it.

I hope this post has been an encouragement to you!  It is not always easy, and it is never a fast process to train up our little ones in the way they should go.  But, as the Lord commands us to do it, I hope this will be of some small encouragement to you as we strive to please Him!

Jessica E. Burrell

“Now that’s a good movie!” . . . or is it? How to discern what is okay in entertainment.

by romans122life, posted in Bible, family, Life

In 2012, the average American making 50k a year spent over $2600 on entertainment.  That is about $200 a month.  That is more than the average person gives to charity annually.  We are entertained in many different ways; movies, music, games, sports, etc.   Americans spend more time and money on entertainment today than any other nation in the history or the world.  We like to be entertained.  There is nothing wrong with being entertained.   In fact, if the Westminster Catechism is correct stating that man’s chief end is to “glorify God and enjoy Him forever,” then good godly entertainment is certainly one way we can enjoy Him.  However, not all (or even most) entertainment that we spend money on today falls under the “godly entertainment” category.  Let us not say, on the other hand, that all entertainment must be inherently Christian for Christians to partake in and enjoy.

Is it okay to watch and enjoy a football, soccer, or baseball game without feeling sinful?  Most certainly!  Nevertheless, there is also a way to watch these things and it be sinful, depending on your motive.  How are we to discern what to watch and listen to in the way of entertainment?  I believe the Philippians 4:8 test is the best way to do this.  Paul wrote,

 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

Before you turn on The Game of Thorns or Downton Abby, and before you download that new Taylor Swift album, take this test and hopefully you will be able to see if you should be spending your time, money, and energy on it.  Before you do anything, ask yourself these questions.

Is it True?

Can this (movie, book, TV program, etc.) be found in God’s Word as something that is true?  For example, can you listen to a love song not written by a Christian? I would say yes, as long as it is something that lines up with the truth of God, and is not distorting it.  If it lines up with the truth that is found in scripture and your conscience allows . . why not?  Remember that all truth is ultimately God’s truth.

Is it Honorable?

This is to say, is it something that is honorable to God?  Is it something where people are making light of sex? Then no, this is not honorable. Is it a game that glorifies violence? Again, I would say no, that is not honorable. What about a book that makes you lust after its character?  Is that honorable? NO!  You get the point.

Is it Just?

Is this something that is in harmony with God’s Word?  What about music that is glorifying getting drunk or songs where the singer is bragging about themselves?  I don’t think these are things that are justifiable to the Lord.  And what about watching some kid being beat up on YouTube?  Sorry, I don’t think that is justifiable entertainment either.

Is it Pure?

Is this promoting good or godly morals?  Is the music video, TV show, or movie that is showing people making out in a provocative way okay?  The question is, how is watching this going to make you more pure?  Peering through a window watching a couple make out would be a good way to have yourself arrested wouldn’t it?  There is not much difference in watching it on TV.  If it is not pure, you do not need to be entertained by it.

Is it Lovely?

Is this pleasing, kind, or gracious?  Is it okay to read a good hearted story about someone overcoming adversity?  Sure, we all love to hear these kinds of stories.  Actually, it often points us to the gospel.  There are plenty of feel good movies and books that are not overtly Christian that fall into this category.  However, if it is not pleasing, kind, or gracious, then the Philippians 4:8 test would say to “not think on these things.”  It is inevitable that you will have to face things that are not lovely in your life, but to openly be entertained by them is a different matter.

Is it Commendable of Worthy of Praise?

Is it respectful?  Is it of high character?  Is this something that you could recommend to your friends or a Christian family?  I love war movies.  My all time favorite is Braveheart (but only the edited version).  I have recommended it to many people over the years.  However, there are some songs, articles, TV shows, and movies that could never fall under this category that I have been sinfully amused by in the past.  If you would not be willing to recommend it to your pastor, there is a great chance the Lord would not want you to participate in being entertained by it either.

These seven questions have helped guide me into making better choices in entertainment for my family.  They apply to movies, music, books, and even sporting events.  I love all sorts of entertainment. So, if Paul can quote a pagan poet (Acts 17:28) and it become part of the canon, it seems to be okay to be entertained by things that are not distinctly Christian as well as long as they fall into the above listed guidelines.  The next time you want to run to the theater to watch the newest flick, or click to download the newest album on iTunes . . . take the Philippians 4:8 test first and see if it is something the Lord would be okay with.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

5 Ways to Help Affair-Proof Your Marriage

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Marriage

It is a scary thing to see what seems to be a good and godly marriage come to an end because of an unfaithful spouse.  Most of these affairs do not happen overnight.  Most who have an affair do not just end up in the bed with a total stranger and wake up the next morning and wonder how they got there.  It started out as “innocent” conversations, but then it progressed from there.  It is hard to imagine on your wedding day that an affair could ever take place; but if we are not careful, we can let an adulterous heart slip in (which is sin in itself), which can easily lead to adulterous actions.  With so many people seemingly falling into this sin, it seems like we need to prepare ourselves against such things.  If a person wants to have an affair, they will find a way to do so, but most people that I know of do not want to have an affair.  However, it seems like many people do little preventive work to keep it from happening.  I will be the first to say that I need to apply these principles as much as anyone.  “My heart is deceitfully wicked above all things” as well.  Yet, through the strengthening of the Lord we do not have to be overcome by sin.  Here are some ways we can be proactive toward helping affair-proof our marriages.  I sincerely hope that you will consider them.

Don’t forget about your covenant:

When you got married you made a covenant with not only your spouse but also with God that you would remain faithful to each other “until death do us part.”  When you decide to go down the pathway of an affair you not only break that covenantal promise to your spouse, but you sin against, lie to, and break your covenant with God as well.  To break a covenant with your spouse is shameful, but to break it with God is fearful.  If the thought of an affair ever enters you mind, don’t forget that you are not just telling your spouse that they no longer “do it for you”, but you are telling God that your desire for that other person is more important that you desire to please Him.

Don’t be alone with a person of the opposite sex:

Before I got into ministry, a very wise pastor once told me, “You need to make it a rule to try your best to never be alone with another woman in a room (or car) that is not your direct family.”  I have found this counsel to be very wise.  I believe this is a principle that we should all take, not just pastors.  Scripture tells us that we are to “flee from the appearance of evil,” in I Thessalonians 5:22.  If you are never alone with a person of the opposite sex, it will make it hard to allow an affair to take place.  If you must ride together in a vehicle, then if they ride in the front seat, you ride in the back or vice verse.  Your marriage is worth fighting for and keeping pure.  It may seem uncomfortable to tell the person who you are riding with why you are not sitting next to them, but I promise you . . . your spouse will love you for it.  This is just another way of preparing yourself beforehand to “flee from the APPEARANCE of evil.”

Don’t have “close” friends of the opposite sex:

What I mean by “close” friends is to say an exclusive friend who your spouse is not friends with also.  I certainly have friends who are women.  However, once I got married, I gave up the right to have them as a “best friend” or exclusive “close friend” due to my special relationship with my wife.  I love her too much to allow a close relationship with another woman to possibly hinder ours.   It is not wise to have friends of the opposite sex that you have lengthy phone, e-mail, text, or even face-to-face conversations with.  If you are finding time to just “run into each other” at the store each week, or you just happen to “get coffee at the same place” together each Saturday morning after your run, then it may be time to change up your routine.  If you don’t, you might wake up one morning and find yourself on the road to an affair.

Don’t have closed social media accounts:

            If you have social media accounts then your spouse should have your passwords and have open regular access to them.  If they do not, are you trying to hide something?  Most people are not trying to hide anything, but allowing your spouse this open access to your social accounts shows transparency to them and would also help keep you from trying to do things that your spouse might not approve of (remember, you are one flesh now).  It is also not wise to be “friends” with someone on your social network that you might have once had a dating relationship with.  Why be friends with someone who you once had feelings for?  If you and your spouse are going through a hard time, then it might be easy to try to find some comfort through an old flame.  Having old girlfriends or boyfriends on Facebook, Twitter, or even in your e-mail contacts is not wise.  Avoid old flames, and enjoy your current eternal one.  It is too easy to just “check out” your old friend and see what they are up to these days.  This has led many down a road that has ended in affairs and even divorce.  Just avoid the temptation and just say no to your Ex’s friend invite.

Do have someone you are accountable to:

If you want to help affair-proof your marriage, one helpful way of doing this is by having an accountability partner who will ask you tough questions.  Find a close friend, of the same sex, that does not mind asking you about your thought life and your dealings with people of the opposite sex.  I truly believe that for a majority of people who have had affairs, if they would have had godly people speaking into their lives asking them these hard questions then it could have helped stopped the affair before it ever stated.  It is a wise thing to heed the Proverb to let “Iron sharpen Iron.”  Having someone ask you if “you have been with a person of the opposite sex in an ungodly way or a way that would offend your spouse in the last few weeks” really makes you take an inventory of your life.  Having someone there who can help you pray though your struggles is a huge blessing.  If we are honest with friends about our dealings with others, this can be one major step in helping to keep our “marriage bed pure.”

There you have it.  Here are 5 ways that if subscribed to, will help prevent an extra-marital affair.  There are a variety of others.  Do you and your spouse have any established guidelines or practices to help affair-proof your marriage?  Have you found anything specifically helpful in keeping your marriage pure?  If so, please feel free to share . . .

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

Gentlemen, Have You Washed Your Wife Lately . . . Spiritually Speaking

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity, Discipleship, Marriage

I was recently talking with a friend of mine about the husband and wife roles and relationship.  In passing, he made the statement: “I wash my wife in the word.”  I thought that was an interesting choice of words, until I was reading Ephesians 5 (a chapter that I have read many times) and saw it in its beautiful context.  Ephesians 5 is probably the best selection of scripture on the role of wives and husbands in marriage.  Most of you likely know that husbands are to love their wives as Christ does His church.  Most of you are also likely aware, as the complementarian view so greatly articulates, that husbands are the heads of the home and wives are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord ( Eph 5:22).  It is interesting to see that Paul uses twice as many words telling husbands to love their wives as he does for a wife to submit to her husband.  If we take the picture of Christ and the church we can see that a husband should be willing to sacrifice everything for her.  He should make her well-being of utmost importance.  He should treat her as he does his own body.  This is what Christ did for the church, thus, this is what a man should do for his wife.  But what of “Washing her by the water through the word” (Eph 5:26)?  The reason you do this is to make her holy.  This is what Christ did for the church, and this is what we need to do for her to help her along in her own personal sanctification.  Can she grow alone (apart from her husband)?  Yes!  But, it is a privilege and responsibility of the husband to do this for his bride.  So, just what does it look like to wash your wife in the word?

Washing Her By Reading Scripture With Her

            We should be reading scripture together.  This can simply be during a formal family worship setting, or in a more private time that you both have together.   Many make the mistake and think that family worship ends when your children leave the home.  However, as the spiritual leader of your home, men, you need to make sure that you are leading the way in reading scripture together.  You can read through scripture together.  You can pick a topic and study it together.  The point is that you pour scripture into your wife.  Scripture guides us.  It convicts us.  It shows us how to love.  It shows us what to love.  It shows us how to be more like Christ.  We do not just want our children to act and look like Jesus, do we?  That is not the sole purpose of reading scripture in the home.  We should want our wives (and ourselves) to be as conformed to His image as possible, as well.  One way of doing this is by reading and absorbing God’s word.  Husbands . . . read!

Washing Her By Praying Scripture With Her

            Have you ever prayed through scripture?  It is something that I was taught to do by one of my professors, Donald Whitney.   It is of great benefit.   Basically, it is simply taking the scripture that you have read, applying to your life and praying it back to God.  It is a beautiful and beneficial way to pray.  We are commanded to pray (I Thessalonians 5:17, James 5:16).  What better person is there to pray for and with than the person that you are supposed to love more than any other on earth?  If you don’t already pray with your spouse, then this is the first place to start.  Learn to pray with each other regularly.  However, when you read scripture together, find time to pray through it once you have finished.  You may be amazed at how often the Lord providentially reveals a need that is going on in your life as you read through and pray through scripture.  She will be blessed, and the Lord will be honored.   Husbands . . . pray!

Washing Her By Giving Scripture To Her

            Joshua 1:8 says, “This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success.”  Each Monday morning my family gathers before I leave for the office to read, sing, and pray God’s word.  After we read though a chapter of the Bible, I try to pick out a verse from that chapter we read that I think will encourage my wife for that week.  I write it on an index card and put it on the refrigerator.  I think it is important to always have the Lord’s word in front of us.   This is also a way to let my wife know that I care for her by giving her something as precious as God‘s word.  This is just one example of how I try to apply this principle for my wife.  For you it may be sending your wife a daily text with a verse that reminds you of her.  It may be highlighting something in her Bible for her to read.  It does not matter how you do it, but simply that you do it.  Husbands . . . give!

Gentlemen, have you given your wife a bath lately?  I must admit, this is something that I have been greatly convicted of lately.  I want to wash my wife with the water of the Word.  I want to help make her holy, as Christ made the church holy.  It is my duty, but it is also my privilege.  I am grateful that my friend shared that little phrase with me that day.  So guys, if you are not washing her, you might want to run some water and get a towel.  Husbands . . . read.  Husbands . . . pray.  Husbands . . . give, and enjoy while doing it.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell