Category: Parents

Fathers . . . You Must be a Fighter

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity, Discipleship, manhood, Parents

Fathers, you must be a fighter.

            The Lord may have given you a strong personality.  If so, you must fight to keep it in check and submit it unto the Lord.  Your strong personality needs to be a sanctified personality. The Lord may have given you a more passive or meek personality.  Praise the Lord for tenderness and meekness!  Jesus said, “Blessed are the meek.”  Nevertheless, your meekness cannot be used as an excuse to lay your fight down.  You must fight against that possible vein of passivity. 

            If you are a father or a husband you have been called to be the protector of your home, no matter your personality (I Corinthians 16:13).  The Lord has given you that personality for his glory.  May it be sanctified and may it cause you to fight. 

Ways to fight for your children . . .

Fight to protect your children’s eyes (Matthew 6:22-23)

Fight to protect your children’s mind (Romans 12:2)

Fight to protect your children’s heart (Proverbs 4:23)

Fight to protect them from pride (James 2:16)

Fight to protect them from the sin of this age (I John 2:16)

Fight to protect them from laziness (Proverbs 13:4)

Fight to protect them from a low view of church (I Timothy 3:15)

Fight to protect them from a high view of self (Proverbs 16:5)

Fight to protect them from low view of self (Genesis 1:27)

Fight to protect their entertainment choices (Philippians 4:8)

Fight to protect their love for you (Ephesians 6:1-3) 

            Fathers, you are to be the earthly protector of your home.  It is time to get off the couch and prepare to fight.  I assure you . . . the world, the flesh, and the devil are all fighting for your children.  The Lord has given you the tools to fight and win.  You’d better get in the fight.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

Is it Time to Reset the Family Table, Spiritually Speaking?

by romans122life, posted in Christianity, Discipleship, family, food, Parents

Imagine the scene at Thanksgiving.  You have the table set just perfectly.  You have the adults’ table, and the kids’ table with everyone’s plates, cutlery, and origami folded napkins prepared for your family to enjoy a wonderful meal together.  You have your spot for the turkey, your spot for the ham, and all the other fixings for your meal.  You know exactly where everything goes to make your Thanksgiving experience optimal.  Now picture something different: plates just tossed everywhere, no napkins, there is a fork here or there, and the spoons are actually dirty . . . oh, and the kids’ table has been completely forgotten.  Is this a picture of Thanksgiving bliss, or a recipe for disaster?  Any mother that saw this second scene would immediately rush to reset the table(s).

While most of us would like to think our homes function more like the hallmark picture that was painted first, the reality is, sometimes in our day to day family life we find ourselves at the second table and we just want to throw up our hands and throw in the towel.  Life gets hectic.  Children get disrespectful.  It can seem like everything is just flipped upside-down.  If this is the case in your home, as it is in mine at times, let me suggest something . . . it may be time to reset the table.

Resetting our Roles

Scripture clearly identifies the roles of all family members in the home.  God is the supreme authority in any Christian home.  Everyone must submit to Him and His Word.  If things seem to be flipped upside-down in your home, chances are the Lord is not looked at as the supreme authority there.  Next, we find the father is called to be the spiritual leader in the home.  He is to be the head of the house (Ephesians 5:23).  If things at home have gotten unruly, how is the father helping to straighten it up?  Since he is the head, he must be involved in the fix.  Next, we find the role of wife and mother.  While she is to be submissive to her husband, she also has been given the responsibility to be the keeper of the home (Titus 2:4-5).  In this role, she has authority over the children just as the father does.  And when we come to the children, their role is to be submissive to both mom and dad as they submit to the Lord.  This is the structure that the Lord expects in an orderly home.  And if your family table has dirty and broken dishes lying around, chances are, the roles have been subverted in some way.  It may be time for a reset.

Resetting our Responsibilities

Thinking through the roles in the home should allow us to see our responsibilities clearly.  When a child expresses their desire to “not eat their vegetables” with a loud but silent eye role of disgust . . . they need to remember their role.  A child is responsible to obey his or her father and mother (Ephesians 6:1).  Their responsibility is to eat that vegetable out of honor and appreciation (Philippians 2:14).  Their responsibility is not to offer an opinion (unless allowed by the parents), but to remember their role and respond appropriately. A mother has authority over the child and is to assist her husband in carrying out his responsibilities (Ephesians 5:22, Titus 2:4).  A father is charged with teaching, encouraging, and disciplining his child as well as loving and leading his wife (Ephesians 5:25-29, Ephesians 6:1).  In the home, everyone has responsibilities.  When spaghetti starts flying, or voices get raised in disagreement, chances are the responsibilities have been tossed aside.  This is when everything becomes a mess.  It is time for a reset.

Resetting our Relationships 

In many homes in America, the children rule the house.  While they do not pay the mortgage, the car payment, provide food to eat, shelter, or clothing . . . many children think that the home revolves around them and their needs.  And unfortunately, many parents allow this to happen.  At first, it is innocent and can even seem funny when your 4-year old says, “Mommy, get me some milk” while playing with her toys.  Yet, it isn’t nearly as funny, when your 16-year-old starts to tell you when and where they are going on Friday instead of asking permission to do so.  It can be easy to let their schedules rule us.  Many of us want them to be well-rounded and involved in a variety of things that stimulate personal growth.  So, we run them from the ball field to piano practice.  Then there are church functions and other school activities.  We become slaves to their schedule.  Then it happens.  The children become the center of all that is done.  The mother becomes the taxi driver.  The father . . .the fan.  The relationship that God designed for the good of the home has become a chaotic blur instead of a blessing.  If this routine has distorted the relationships in your home, it may well be time for a reset.

Joel Beeke has said, “You are either the best or worst book that your children will ever read.”  This is a profound statement.  The way our children see us live out the truth of scriptures will either shape them for the good, or the bad.   When we think about our homes, most of us, I imagine, want it to be a place of fond memories, love, and encouragement.  But, to do this, there has to be order.  If there is no order at dinner time, there can be no dinner time.  Without order, there will be little fond memories, a lack of love, and frustration more than encouragement.  Just like the dinner table, our homes need order.  God has set the order for our homes.  Husbands, love your wife well.  Fathers, be active in the training of your children.  Wives, respect and love your husbands.  Mom, love your children enough to teach and require order.  Children, obey and honor your parents.  It is required by God.  Children will be accountable to God for this.

The family table is a wonderful place.  It is here where we can often see it as a metaphor for life in the home.  So, if your family table looks like something that Joanna Gains has staged, that is a blessing.  But don’t let it become an issue of pride.  Praise the Lord for His blessings in it, but continue to pursue a godly home humbly.  But, if it looks a little more like the dinner scene from the 1991 classic “Hook” movie, it may be time to start afresh and reset that table.  The Lord has provided the way to do so.  It may take some time and some work, but it will be well worth the effort.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

Family Toolbox (November 2018)

by romans122life, posted in Christianity, Christmas, Church, family, Life, manhood, Marriage, Parents

“Are We Really in Danger of Making an Idol of the Family?” – Kevin DeYoung

I love everything about family ministry.  I have been doing it for over 16 years, and Lord willing will do it for the rest of my life.  The spiritual growth of our families should be of utmost importance to us all.  However, there is a real danger when we put too high a priority on family that it will undermine what God has said that He desires for us.  DeYoung writes, “In a world hellbent on redefining marriage and undermining the fundamental importance of the family, Christians would do well to honor and support all those trying to nurture healthy families. And yet, virtually every pastor in America can tell you stories of churchgoers who have functionally displaced God in favor of the family.”

“Husbands, We’re Called to Help Our Wives Grow in Christ” – Randy Alcorn

This is a subject that I have written on many times, but Randy Alcorn really writes a helpful article on the subject on the husband’s responsibility in helping his wife grow in grace as well.  He writes, “There’s a lot of stuff out there that isn’t going to draw you or your wife’s mind and heart toward God. Part of loving and leading her is pointing her toward things that will. The payoff is huge for her, you, your kids, and everyone her life touches.”

“Parents, Take Note of the Spiritual Practices Common to Kids Who Flourish As Adults” – Trevin Wax

As Christian parents, we all want to see our children come to faith and flourish in their Christian walk.  Trevin Wax has provided 5 common practices that will, by God’s grace, help in your children’s spiritual progress in their faith.  “The research indicated that children who remained faithful as young adults  . . . grew up in homes where certain practices were present.”

“Prepare Him Room: Celebrating the Birth of Jesus in Song” – Sovereign Grace Music

If you are looking for some newer Christmas music for this holiday season, this is a wonderful album that your family would enjoy.  This came out a few years back, but if you haven’t had a chance to listen to it, I would encourage you to do so.  “The reality of the incarnation, the Son of God taking on our flesh and bones to save us, will be an eternal source of wonder, gratefulness, and joy. These fourteen songs are our attempt to capture that mystery in song. The long night is over and the light of the world has come. Prepare Him room.”

“Profile of an Evangelistic Home” – Joel Beeke

Have you ever wondered what an evangelistic home might look like?  Here is a sermon that gives a glimpse into what it could look like in your home.  Dr. Beeke gives this chilling reminder in his sermon, “Other than the Bible, you are the best or worst book your children will ever read.”  He lays out what the gospel-centered home looked like in the past, and what it might look like today based off of biblical principles.

“The Torchlighters Heroes of the Faith – DVD Set” 

If you have ever wanted your children to know more about some of the heroes of the faith, then here you can find the animated, true-life stories of Christian heroes retold for young people. In each 30 minute video you can lean about people such as Augustine, Amy Carmichael, Corrie Ten Boom, Jim Elliot, Eric Liddell, and Samuel Morris.  These are wonderfully made DVDs that will allow your children to see God through the lives of great men and women of old.  You can buy all 17 episodes at a discounted price for a limited time.

 “Why My Family Doesn’t Do Santa” – Josh Buice

It is an age old debate within Christian circles. . . Santa or no Santa.  I believe Dr. Buice provides pastoral and fatherly insight on why his family doesn’t do Santa.  He writes, “We want our children to look at the story of a jolly old man who visits us on a red sleigh behind Rudolph and a host of other flying reindeer and find no comparison to the story of the second Person of the Trinity leaving heaven’s throne to be born into poverty as he clothed himself in human flesh—entering the world through the womb of a virgin girl—in order to save his people from their sins.” As you prepare for the Christmas season, maybe this will spark a healthy discussion within your family.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

What to consider when doing family worship.

by romans122life, posted in Christianity, family, Parents, Worship

Family worship is a concept that has long been forgotten for many through the years of church history. It is a concept that can be both exhilarating, but also paralyzing. Family worship at its most basic level, is simply taking time to gather the family to read the Bible, pray, and worship the Lord on a regular basis in your home. It is true that there is no direct command found in scripture imploring fathers and families to do family worship, but it is a great application to direct commands found all over the canon of scripture.  Here are just a few examples:

            Deuteronomy 6:4-7: This text implores parents to “Teach them diligently to your children . . .” Telling them that the Lord is One, and that they should love the Lord with all that they are.

            Psalm 78: This Psalm has some strong commandments to fathers to teach their children about the things of God, and for this to continue on, not just to your children, but to your children’s children. This was a command to tell the coming generations the glorious deeds of the Lord.

           Ephesians 5:25-26:  Here we find husbands are told to “Wash them (their wives) in the Word.”  It also explained that children are to be brought “up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

            I Timothy 3:4-5 we find the qualifications of being an elder. He “must manage his house well.”

One of the best and easiest ways to apply these commands is to have regular family worship in your home. After looking over these verses you may be convinced that this is a good idea, but what does it actually look like? Since that vast majority of people didn’t grow up in a home where this was practiced, what should it look like? Here are a few points to consider if you want family worship to be a profitable and successful experience in your home.

Consider the Elements:

Generally speaking, there are three parts to family worship. You read the Bible, pray the Bible, and sing the Bible. They are much like the same elements that you find in a typical corporate worship setting. However, there is no preacher (other than the parents), and there is no choir or worship team, other than those sitting in your home. There is no need to hire someone to come in and do these things for you. God has actually equipped you the parent (practically the father), to lead in this manner. All it takes is having everyone sit quietly (or mostly quiet if you have small ones) and read a portion of scripture. Then you explain it to the best of your ability.  You pick a song that the family knows and sing it (if you can play an instrument that is even better).  It can be something as simple as the Doxology with no music, but I would encourage you not to skip this part if possible. Finally, close in prayer. That is it. Simple and easy, but it can have eternal significance.

Consider the Brevity:

Your average church service lasts about an hour. You may think of your family worship like a small church service on Sunday, however much shorter. You should want family worship to be a delight and not a drudgery. Ephesians 6:4 gives warning to fathers not to “provoke your children to wrath.” If you are just starting family worship and it is a new concept to your family, please remember that it is new to your family as well. If you try to make it too long, you may be provoking your children. You may very well work up to a 30-minute family devotion, but brevity is key here. It is good to start off with no more than 10-15 minutes. Read 15 – 20 verses in the Bible. Take 3 or 4 minutes to explain it and to ask questions. Spend 2 or 3 minutes in prayer and sing a quick song. Try to set a regular time that you plan to do this and try to stick to it most days. Remember, it does not have to be anything super formal, but there does need to be a sense of reverence. You are worshiping and honoring God after all, even if it is in your pajamas.

Consider the Content: 

When your children are small, you may not want to go straight to Song of Solomon or Revelation. It may not be helpful. Consider reading Proverbs, the book of James, or even some of the narrative portions in the Old Testament. There are some great stories there that will allow you as a parent to point to the gospel and give just simple and practical advice. If you feel like you don’t know the Bible well enough to teach, invest in a good study Bible. Take 10 minutes to read the passage before-hand with the notes so you can explain it. You only need to be one step ahead to teach. As the children get older have them get involved. Fathers, have your wife be a regular part of worship. She is gifted in ways that you are not. Have your children read the scripture. Have them pray. Have them help lead the song(s). This is part of training and teaching them not just the things of God, but also how to lead their families when they get older.

John Piper emphasizes the commitment to family worship by saying, “You have to decide how important you think these family moments are. It is possible for little ones, teenagers, and parents. You may have to work at it, but it can be done.” Family worship has been a blessing to my family. I love hearing my children sing praise to God at the top of their little lungs. I love hearing them answer and ask great questions that come from our Bible reading. I love having them repeat prayers after their mother and I. It is a commitment that my wife and I made that we would do on a regular basis early on in our marriage. While it is true that this is just one way to apply the clear commands of God to teach, train, and lead our homes, I believe it to be the best one. I don’t think when you get older and you look back on your time as a parent, that you will ever regret the time you spent around the dinner or coffee table worshiping the Lord together.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

Your Mother, the Theologian

by romans122life, posted in Christianity, Parents, The Gospel

Have you ever thought about how much you learn from your mother? The lessons are endless, and if you were blessed to have a godly mother, the lessons could be of eternal significance. For my children, I believe they have the best mother they could have ever asked for. I know that I am partial since their mom happens to also be my wife. I love her for so many reasons, but one of the reasons that has found its way to the top of my list is that she is a theologian, and a good one at that. She doesn’t hold the patent on this. Her mother, my mother, and many other godly mothers could have this said of them as well. Every mother is a theologian. The question is, “are you a good one?” My wife, like many other moms who are seeking to please the Lord and help lead their children to the Lord, doesn’t get it right every time. The Lord still has a Niagara Falls-like reservoir of grace, even when she gets it wrong. However, here are a few ways where my wife hits the mark.    

A Theologian in the Mundane:

​My wife is at home with our 4 rowdy kids most all of the day. She has to clean up water bottle spills, PB&J crumbs, and be a nurse when they fall off their bikes and scrape up their knees. This is just normal everyday life for a mom. However, she tries to never pass up an opportunity to interject the gospel when possible during the day in and day out routine of life. Sometimes, she doesn’t realize that I am just around the corner listening to her. I once heard her explaining the importance of a wise choice to my son, based on the Proverbs comparison of the wise and foolish man, after he had done something foolish for the 5th time in an hour. Deuteronomy 6 says, “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” This is taking the opportunity to be a theologian, even in the mundane things of life.          

 A Theologian in Her Teaching:

​Not everyone has the opportunity to homeschool their kids. We are blessed with the ability to do so. One of the blessings of doing this is being able to have control over what you teach. Each morning we try to open our day with breakfast as a family, and a quick time of family worship. After I rush off to the office, they start their school day. Subject one is almost always the reading of the Proverbs. She will read a chapter from Proverbs, and the children will listen and color a coloring sheet that corresponds to the chapter. My children love it. What they don’t realize is that they are getting a steady diet of God’s Word while they enjoy coloring their sheet of paper. It is amazing to hear them talk about a verse in the Proverbs that stood out to them. Often my sons like the ones like Proverbs 30:17, “The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.” That usually lends access to a fun conversation, but when they have eyes that are filled with anger they have often reminded us of this proverb. Why do they know this proverb, and other scripture? It’s because their mother is a theologian in her teaching.

A Theologian in Her Prayers:

If you have children, you know prayer is something that should be done often. How else do you expect to get through the 10th fight of the day over the same toy, or that crayon that was “accidently” drawn all over your new freshly painted wall? Parenting is not easy, but it is a blessing and a work of sanctification. One of the ways our children learn to pray is by example. Hearing the gospel in our prayers is a wonderful way to lead our children to know the gospel. However, it is not just the words that they hear; they also hear the heart behind it. Good theology is of little use if it is only of the mind and is not fleshed out in the heart and life of a person. My children not only hear scripture when their mother prays, but they see it portrayed as well. Often when they have had to be disciplined for something, she will stop and pray with them in a kind and loving way. This shows them that not only does she know about God, but her love for God is shown to them and is heard in her general prayers and petitions for them. She is a theologian in her prayers, and they hear it.      

A Theologian in Her Love:

​Good theology is best shown by the love it exhibits. Does having a proper understanding of grace help you to forgive quickly? Does it allow you to discipline your children when they have done wrong, but yet be followed by a long hug and kiss on the cheek? Does your doctrinal stance on the fall help you to love your unsaved children by pointing them to the gospel instead of just saying “oh, they are just kids, you know”? Does your knowledge of God being our father who loves to give great gifts to his children afford you the opportunity to get on the floor and play with your kids instead of folding that 5th load of laundry because your children just want some attention from you? A good theologian knows that the greatest commandment in scripture is to “love the Lord your God . . . and your neighbor as yourself.” Can you get a closer neighbor than your own child? I have seen it time and time again. My wife is tired, worn out, and still has house work to do, yet takes time to love on the kids. Love . . . that is good theology.

My wife is not perfect. She is born into sin like the rest of us. She struggles with fleshly desires and frustrations just like all other Christians. I do not wish to paint a fanciful picture of our home or my wife that is untrue. She has not “arrived” yet as a mother. She would tell you the same with much humility. However, there is no one else on the planet that I would rather have to be the mother to my kids. I never have to fear if she is leading them astray with some errant wind of doctrine. I know she is striving to live out her faith in the mundane, in the education of our children, in her prayers, and just in her general love for our young ones. It is evident in her walk as I watch as an on-looker. I am blessed, as are my children. If you are a mother, please remember that you are a theologian as well. I pray that you will take this aspect of your job seriously. After all, your children need good theology too. So, don’t just show them the love of God, teach it to them with words and actions as well. “. . . Teach them diligently to your children, . . . when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up . . .”

 Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell          

 

 

 

 

 

 

Should Your Child Be Baptized?

by romans122life, posted in Baptism, Bible, Christianity, Parents

I have to admit, this is one of those questions that I have struggled with myself.  I am a strong proponent of Lordship Salvation, but at the same time must balance that with the belief that children can come to the Lord at a young age as well.  Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that I am not writing this to pit Paedobaptism (the baptism of infants) vs Credobaptism (the baptism of believers only).  I am a Credobaptist and I am coming from that theological vantage point.  The question that I have struggled with really is “At what time should my 7 year old (or any young child) who has professed faith take the next step of baptism?”  In a land filled with easy believism, “just say a sinner’s prayer”, and “take Jesus into your heart” mentality, I believe we must preach and teach true conversion to our children.  That is not to say that they will get it all at once, but sin, faith, repentance, the cross, and counting the cost of following Jesus are all necessary components of the gospel.  If your child has a grasp on these things (both mentally and seemingly spiritually), how do you know when it is time for them to get baptized?  Since the Bible does not give a complete guideline for this situation, I believe these are some helpful questions to ask before we agree to let them take of this holy ordinance.

Why Baptism?

What really saves us any way?  According to Ephesians we are “saved by grace through faith and not that of ourselves. It is a gift from God.”  We are saved by confessing with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believing that God raised Him from the dead (Romans 10).  So, if we are saved by grace through faith apart from works, what is the big deal about Baptism?  First, we get baptized because we are commanded to (Matthew 28).  Secondly because it is an outward sign of the inward change that Christ has done for us.  Next, we get baptized to make a public profession that we are not ashamed to be called a Christian.  It is a sign that we are a part of the church universal (I Corinthians 12:13).  Baptism does not save us, but it does identify who we are and to whom we belong.  Why be baptized?  Because the Lord said to, and we want to be obedient.

Do they understand the gospel?

By this I mean can they tell you that God is Holy, and that they are not?  That God has every right to condemn them for their sins.  That Jesus came, was born perfect, and lived a perfect and holy life.  That Jesus died on the cross, the Just for the unjust, and that if they truly believe in Him alone for forgiveness and salvation that they can be saved.  That they must repent and turn from their sin, and if they do so, that the Lord will keep them and seal them until the day of redemption.  If they understand their sin, and Jesus’ death, burial, resurrection, and ascension then you can trust that they know the gospel in the most basic form.

Have you seen fruit?

When the child is young, grows up in a Christian home where the Bible is being taught, and makes a profession of faith, it may be hard to discern genuine fruit from simple “good raising.”  Some of the best advice I have been given is to give this area time.  Ask yourself, can you see your child growing to hate their sin more?  Do they come to you and acknowledge wrongdoing before you ever knew of the offense?  Do they seem to be more loving, joyful, acting more kindly to their siblings, and more respectful to you as a parent?  These are some good indications that the Holy Spirit is at work in their life, but it takes time to see if this is a genuine pattern of Spirit-wrought fruit, or just good behavior modification.  Look for lasting fruit, not just low-hanging ones that can make us hopeful but leave us disappointed when we find out it is bad.

Have others seen fruit?

It can be easy to fool Mommy and Daddy sometimes.  If your child has made a profession of faith, tell others that are often around them about it.  Let them observe to see if they can see a spiritual change in their lives.  Don‘t overlook the blessing that comes from seeking input from those who are spiritually mature around you.

Are you putting words in their mouths?

It is easy for us as parents to put words in the mouths of our children because we want them to be saved.  This is understandable because all Christian parents want their children to be in the faith, but this can be dangerous.  Let them in their own words tell their grandparents, friends, and other family members, and even church leadership about their profession.  It does no good to feed them the words if they have not truly come to the conviction of them themselves.  Believe in the sovereignty of God.  Believe that if this is not the right time, that the Lord will awaken their spirit when it is.  Pray for their brokenness and their understanding . . . but please do not put words in their mouth just so as to pacify your anxiety about their salvation.

Do your elders/pastors agree it is time?   

Baptism is an important step in a person’s faith.  It should not be taken lightly.  There should be a time of testing by those who are spiritually mature that are in their lives (II Corinthians 13:5).  Let the pastor or elders from your church test them (without you giving them the answers for them).  If all are in agreement, then it may very well be time for the baptismal waters to be stirred.  If all are not, then it is okay to allow some time to marinate and keep looking for sign of regeneration.  While salvation is an individual decision initiated and completed by God, when your child is young, it would be wise to make baptism a group decision.  We want them to be sure of their faith.  Having them baptized is a parent’s, pastor’s, and church’s acknowledgment that they see saving faith in them.  It’s a big deal and pastors should always be involved in the process.

I write this not as someone who has all the answers.  I write this as a parent and a pastor who is in the middle of it himself with 4 young kids.  Ten months ago my oldest made such a wonderful profession.  It has been almost a year since she did . . . and we are still in the “have you seen their fruit” stage.  While we believe her profession was sincere, we are still waiting a little while longer to make sure.  These are 6 questions my wife and I keep asking each other as we seek others to help us in the process.  So, should your child be baptized?  The answer is an astounding yes if they have truly professed faith, but I would caution you not to rush it and rest in the goodness of God to reveal when it is the right time.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

5 Lessons My Mother Taught Me – A Mother’s Day Edition

by romans122life, posted in Christianity, Church, family, Parents

Mother’s Day is just one of those man-made holidays that seem hard to just pass over.  I mean, who does not love their mother, right?  God really gave you a great gift if you had a godly mother.  As I was trying to think through what I could do to honor my mother this year I started thinking about all the things she passed on to me.  While I could name a myriad of godly qualities, there are five lessons that I learned by example through her life that stick out more than others.

Have a Love for the Lord:

There is nothing more important in my mother’s life than her relationship with the Lord.  She loves Him so.  She would often speak of Him, when I was a child, with such reverence but also intimacy.  She loves him so much, that she knew it to be her chief duty to pass it on to her children.  No matter what has happened in her life, even in great tragedy, her resolve and love for the Lord has never waned.  This is the most important lesson she passed on to my brother and I; to always love the Lord and have Him preeminent in our lives.

Have a Love for Your Family:

Second only to her love for the Lord is her love for her family.  She and my father decided it was best for her to stay home with my brother and me until we were old enough to go to school.  After we started our formal education she went to work so as to help provide for the family economy.  No matter how hard she worked, she (and my father) was always there for all of me and my brother’s sporting events, which were many since I played 3 sports.  Not only was she there for sporting events, but for everything else in my life as well.  She always took a deep interest in the things of my life.  She would deny things that she might want to do so as to be able to provide for my brother, father, and I.  She loves her family, and she would do anything for us.  She is a beautiful example of what it means to love your family.

Have a Love for Your Local Church:

I cannot remember a time in my life when my parents were not active in serving within the church.  My mother taught Sunday school, directed the youth, taught the youngest of children in Mission Friends class, and as a family we would clean the church each week.  She believes in serving the Lord through serving the church.  Any time the doors of the church were open, our family was there.  This is something that she and my father have passed down to me as well.  I don’t just love the church because I am paid by it, but because it was instilled into me at a young age that if I was part of the bride of Christ, then I was to also serve her.  To this day my Mom serves her church faithfully, and I thank her for helping to place that desire in me.

Have a Sacrificial Heart:

As is true for many godly women, my mother is one who is willing to sacrifice her time, talent, and treasures for the sake of the Lord and her family.  Almost to a fault at times, my mother didn’t (and still does not) know how to say “no” when it came to helping others.  I have seen her out to all hours of the night preparing the church for a special service, or helping a person who was in need.  While she never neglected my father or us boys, she was always willing to sacrifice whatever was needed to bring glory to God and build the Kingdom.  Her sacrifice hasn’t gone unnoticed.  It is like her heart is simply shaped with this disposition, and for that I am grateful.

Have a Love for Godly Music:

The Lord blessed my family with a love for music.  All four of us enjoy(ed) singing and playing instruments.  Now while The Eagles or the Credence Clearwater Revival could sometimes be heard blaring from our windows, more often than not it was some type of Christian music.  One of my earliest memories is traveling with my parents and their Christian quartet, The Woodlandairs, to different churches on the weekends playing Southern Gospel Music.  While my taste for Southern Gospel Music has never been too great, singing some of the great hymns of our faith that my mother would often sing around the house and at church is deeply rooted in my being.  Both my father and my mother established in me a love for godly music, and while I strayed from it through much of my teen years, the memories of it never left me, and would once again captivate me in my 20’s and do still today.  A love for music, but more importantly music that honored God, is a gift and a life lesson my mother passed on to me that is invaluable.

While Mother’s Day is a special day when we remember our Moms, it is also a day to look back on the lessons that they have taught us.  I hope the Lord blesses me with another 30 years with my mother, however, if the Lord was to take her home today, she would leave me with enough of a legacy to last two life-times.  This list of lessons is not unique to my mother only I am sure, but how thankful I am that it is true of this woman that I will always simply just call “Mom”.  I thank the Lord for mothers who love the Lord so much that they have no greater job on earth than to pass that love on to their children.  Thank you mom for doing so with your children.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

From Preparing to Maintaining . . . Here Are Some Helpful Books For Every Season of Your Love Life.

by romans122life, posted in Christianity, Church, family, Life, manhood, Marriage, Parents

One of the most rewarding things that I get to do as a pastor to families is to be a resource for them.  I have been blessed with the gift of time as a pastor.  During this time, I have been able to sort through a lot of books and studies dealing with family life.  With all of the thousands of books out there dealing with pre-marriage, young marriage, renewing and renovating one’s marriage, and child-rearing, I have gathered a list of several great books that I believe are helpful that I would like to share.  No matter where you are in your life, single or married, I believe these books may be an encouragement to you if you desire to do a little reading.  Each book is listed in order of importance in my opinion.

While Courting /Dating or Preparing:

  1. “Date Different” – By Greg Gibson
  2. “What He Must Be” – By Voddie Baucham
  3. “The Purity Principle” – By Randy Alcorn
  4. “50 Crucial Questions” – By John Piper and Wayne Grudem
  5. “Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood” – By John Piper and Wayne Grudem

While Engaged or Just Beginning Your Marriage:

  1. “When Sinners Say I Do” – By Dave Harvey
  2. “Intended for Pleasure” – By Ed Wheat
  3. “Total Money Makeover” – By Dave Ramsey
  4. “The Intimate Marriage” – By R.C. Sproul
  5. “First 90 days of Marriage” – By Eric and Leslie Ludy
  6. “Father, Son, and Holy Spirit” – By Bruce Ware
  7. “Sacred Marriage” – By Gary Thomas

To Read to Refresh Your Marriage:

  1. “Sacred Marriage” – By Gary Thomas
  2. “Love and Respect” – By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
  3. “His Needs Her Needs” – By Willard F. Hardy, Jr.

To Read If You Have Children:

  1. “Give Them Grace” – By Elyse M. Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson
  2. “Family Worship: In the Bible, in History & in Your Home” – By Donald Whitney
  3. “Family Driven Faith” – Voddie Baucham

             There are many great books on these different subjects, but these are all books that have been helpful to me, and I pray will be to you as well.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

Some Encouraging Words for the Christian School Parent

by romans122life, posted in Christianity, Parents, School

Christian Education – Is it Worth it?

Undoubtedly the decision to place one’s kids into a private Christian school is fraught with financial angst.  The heart of the decision is clearly the desire for the spiritual well-being of our kids, but for most folks, the decision still boils down to a “cost-benefit ratio” analysis.  The “benefit” aspect of the ratio (as I hope to outline in part) is easy to determine; the “cost” aspect is a private affair since it is dependent on one’s individual monetary resources and potential life-style sacrifices. What I would like to do here is share my own personal experiences of the benefits of a Christian education, and thereby encourage those who have indeed made the necessary sacrifices to put their kids into Christian schools.

  1. A Christian education includes education in Christianity.  Again, based on my own experiences, Bible will be a required daily class for every grade.  While Sunday school is a good thing, based on recent data it has been shown to be largely irrelevant in preventing our children from abandoning the faith in their college years.  This is hardly surprising if one hour (two, including church) of biblical instruction per week is all one gets.  However, attending a Christian school will reap another 4 hours (or so) of instruction.  Also, since Bible class is in fact a class, there will be homework, reading assignments, textbooks (in addition to the Bible), and exams.  This yields a more intensive and detailed study of Scripture compared to Sunday school.  Hopefully the child will experience a deepening appreciation of the reality of God and His acts in history and thereby a deeper understanding of the basis of his/her faith.

Additionally, even if the school is identified with a particular church or denomination, the faculty and student body will likely span multiple denominations, and that experience can enrich your child’s appreciation of the diversity of Christian theological thought and biblical interpretation within orthodoxy.

  1. 2. A Christian education includes critique of secular dogmas. Government schools exist to train “New World citizens”; hence, political correctness and the doctrines that ground the secular humanist worldview must go without serious challenge in these schools.  If you believe the Christian worldview to be the one that corresponds to reality, then you will want your child to be taught the philosophical, ethical, logical, and evidential fallacies, errors, rationalizations, and canards that are at the heart of the secular agenda: atheism, Darwinism, scientism, multiculturalism, relativity of truth and morality, etc.  Hence, Bible instruction should include an introduction to apologetics by which your child will learn to appreciate the rationally demonstrable superiority of the Christian worldview over all rivals. The first item in the “armor of God” (Ephesians 6:13-17) is the belt of truth.  It is the piece upon which the rest of the armor is secured.  If the concept of truth is forsaken, then culture will necessarily spiral into chaos as each does and thinks “what is right in his own eyes.” The world will get its turn at your kids in college and/or the workplace where Christianity and truth are marginalized and denigrated respectively.  If you have put your kids into a Christian school, then take some comfort: Your kids will stand a much better chance of resisting seduction by “hollow and deceptive” philosophies and holding on to (and sharing) their Christian worldview if they have come out of high school grounded in truth.
  2. A Christian education includes a Christian environment.   The first two points lose most, if not all, of their vitality if this point is missing.  In fact, in my opinion, if a Christian school fails here, it fails, period.  After all, at the end of the day, Christianity is more than merely a philosophy or a set of metaphysical assertions.  It is more than reasons and knowledge; it is a way of life – in fact, it is life itself, life in abundance, life eternally.

My children had the privilege of being taught – at every grade – by teachers who were competent in their academic fields and who were also kind, caring, loving, Bible-believing, and God-honoring.  Undoubtedly, there are many Christian teachers in the public school system, but that system, by definition, cannot and will not encourage these teachers to share their Christian testimony – let alone pray — with a student.

We meet together in church to worship and praise our Savior but also for mutual edification and encouragement. But actual church services are only a few hours a week.  A Christian school can provide this environment for your child for seven or so hours a day – even more if they participate in after school activities and sports.  Secretly held beliefs can whither when there is the threat of ridicule if spoken aloud. (And the state-sponsored and increasingly culturally-enforced secularism of modern America exploits this fact as its thought police intimidate into silence those voices who dare speak out in celebration of Christian values, Christian freedom, and the Christian founding of our nation.) On the other hand, there is something affirming in the process of freely speaking aloud one’s heartfelt beliefs to a sympathetic and encouraging audience –in this case, Christian classmates and teachers.  By putting your kids in a Christian school you have privileged them with a faith-affirming environment – and spared yourself the worry of wondering what politically correct, profane nonsense they have been subjected to on any given day.

  1. Christian education encourages a love of this country. The secular worldview adheres to three critical errors:  the nonexistence of God, the natural goodness of mankind, and an inevitable upward “evolution” of civilization.   The culmination of these errors is utopianism – the belief that mankind will eventually save itself by constructing a scientifically engineered perfect society.   Despite the plethora of genocidal failures of such attempts in history (particularly, the 20th century), the utopians of every age breathlessly anticipate – on blind faith – that utopia is just around the corner:  All we need is a little more reeducation, a little more socialization, a little more elimination of the naysayers, and, of course, a lot more centralization of power.   And if mankind is to be saved, the utopia must be world-wide; hence, the secular view is globalist in scope.  (Islam is a theistic equivalent.)

What does this have to do with love of this country? Christians reject the secularist premises.  We know that a global utopia is not remotely humanly possible, and the final attempt – that of the Antichrist — will be the worst of all.   True worldwide utopia will occur only when Christ returns. In the meanwhile, we struggle to construct civil structures that protect “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” and, at the same time, restrain the sinful nature found in both the citizenry and the leaders.  This country was settled by Christians and our founding documents strongly reflect the Christian worldview – and this country has, by God’s grace, survived its occasional failings and prospered like none before it.  But a lone superpower that honors God, Scripture, His moral law, and the dignity of human life and freedom is a stumbling block for secularist global utopians; it must be humbled if the secularist nightmare is to be realized.  And we see their efforts every day in the news. Christians, however, knowing that God was instrumental in America’s founding, consider America worth fighting for and preserving as it was founded.  It is the world’s best hope in human governance – until Christ comes.  Hence, love of this country should come naturally to the Christian heart – and so patriotism is encouraged in Christian schools.

A Christ-based education is hardly a guarantee your children will remain true to Christ (and a public education hardly guarantees they will not – the home is still critical in both cases.)  The world system is relentless in its self-promotion in the after-school hours – in movies, TV, pop music, etc.   But if one has been able to make the necessary personal sacrifices in order to put your kids in Christian schools, take heart – you’ve made a big step in giving your kids a fighting chance. Now, pray for them . . . every day.

Sincerely,

Bill Butt