Category: Bible

Do You Need A “Life Manual?”

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity

If there was one book of the Bible that I wish I had completely memorized, it would be the book of Proverbs.  Kevin Swanson has wisely stated, “Of all of the possible curriculum choices used for the education of our children, the most important textbook of all is that which God Himself presented in the book of Proverbs.[1]” I would add, not just the education of our children, but the education of us all.  There is a reason that for centuries many Christians have been reading the Proverb of the day (reading the chapter in Proverbs that coincides with the day of the month.)  The Bible, in its totality, explains who God is, who man is, and how we can be reconciled to Him through Christ.  It is one big story in four major parts: Creation, Fall, Redemption, and Consummation. Yet within the big story of the Bible we find a manual for daily living.  We find this in the book of Proverbs.  It is filled with practical godly advice that is packed into short pithy sayings (which makes them great for memorization).

Life is hard and it takes great wisdom to navigate through it.  Thankfully, if we are believers, we have Jesus who laid his life down for us, gave us direction, and provided the perfect example of living life in a wise way to the glory of God the Father.  This is why he has often been referred to as “wisdom personified.”  He perfectly obeyed all of the Father’s lawful demands and he lived with perfect wisdom.  Jesus is God and yet our elder brother.  If we want to live as Christ did, the book of Proverbs is a good place to start.    

Our family loves the book of Proverbs.  This is part of the reason that this year we have decided to commit many of them to memory.  If you would like, I invite you to memorize them along with us.  

If you would prefer a printable copy, you can click here for a PDF. 

Proverbs 1:7

            “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

            “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

Proverbs 4:23-27

“24Put away from you crooked speech and put devious talk far from you.
25Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.
26Ponderthe path of your feet then all your ways will be sure.
27Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.”

Proverbs 9:8

            “Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you.”

Proverbs 9:10

            “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.”

Proverbs 10:19

            “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

Proverbs 11:22

            “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.”

Proverbs 12:1

            “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.”

Proverbs 13:4

            “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.”

Proverbs 13:24

            “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”

Proverbs 14:12

            “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death”

Proverbs 15:1

            “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Proverbs 16:3

            “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”

Proverbs 16:9

            “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

Proverbs 16:18

            “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

Proverbs 17:14

            “The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.”

Proverbs 17:22

            “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

Proverbs 18:21

            “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”

Proverbs 19:13

            “A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.”

Proverbs 20:1

            “Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.”

Proverbs 21:1

            “The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will.”

Proverbs 22:6

            “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:7

            “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.”

Proverbs 24:10

            “If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.”

Proverbs 25:28

            “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”

Proverbs 26:4-5

            “4Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself. 5Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.”

Proverbs 27:17

            “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

Proverbs 28:13

            “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”

Proverbs 29:2

            “When the righteous increase, the people rejoice, but when the wicked rule, the people groan.”

Proverbs 30:5-6

            “5Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.
6Do not add to his words, lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar.”

Proverbs 31:10

            “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.”

Proverbs 31:30

            “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

[1] https://store.generations.org/products/proverbs-collection-1-2-3#description

A Prayer of Adoration Sample

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity

“Grace and peace to you this morning, church.”  This is my usual greeting when it is my turn to read the scripture for the call to worship on the Lord’s Day.  We typically have three scripture readings and prayers during our corporate gathering.  The three prayers that we typically pray are a prayer of adoration (after our call to worship), a prayer of confession (after our Old Testament reading), and a prayer of thanksgiving (prior to our worship though the offering).  Over the next few weeks I would like to share an example of what the different types of prayers can look like.  Today, I will share our prayer of adoration that was prayed this past Sunday after our call to worship.  It is based off of the text that we read from Isaiah 40:1-8. 

1 Comfort, comfort my people, says your God.

2 Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,

    and cry to her

that her warfare is ended,

    that her iniquity is pardoned,

that she has received from the Lord’s hand

    double for all her sins.

3 A voice cries:

“In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord;

    make straight in the desert a highway for our God.

4 Every valley shall be lifted up,

    and every mountain and hill be made low;

the uneven ground shall become level,

    and the rough places a plain.

5 And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed,

    and all flesh shall see it together,

    for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

6 A voice says, “Cry!”

    And I said, “What shall I cry?”

All flesh is grass,

    and all its beauty is like the flower of the field.

7 The grass withers, the flower fades

    when the breath of the Lord blows on it;

    surely the people are grass.

8 The grass withers, the flower fades,

    but the word of our God will stand forever.

Here is an example of the call to worship prayer after the selected reading:

            “O Lord, how glorious, wonderful, and splendid it is for we, your people, to know that your Word is forever fixed in the heavens; to know that though the grass withers and the flower fades, the Word of our God will stand forever.  For it is through your Word that we know your truth.  It is through your Word that we know how to please you.  It is through the Spirit inspired and Spirit illuminated Word that we come to know you, our God . . . and Christ, our King.  We desire to be a people of the Word.  We desire to be shaped by your Word.  We desire to be moved by your Word.  We desire to be comforted by your Word, just as you did for your people through the prophet Isaiah twenty-seven hundred years ago with these words that we just heard. 

            Today, O Lord, as we prepare our heads and our hearts to worship you through the Word,  as you have called us now from the Word, and you have spoken through the reading of your Word, let us all see now and savor the your glory that has been revealed.  Change us. Shape us. Move us. Challenge us. Comfort us today as we sing, pray, give, and respond to the preaching of your Word.  May our worship bring glory to you through our perfect Mediator, Jesus Christ.  For it is in his name that I pray, amen.”  

            And that’s it.  It is pretty simple, yet driven by the text that we read.  It is a call from the Word for the people of God to worship our God the way that he deserves through the ordinary means of grace during the service.  

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

No, Your Teen Doesn’t “Need” a Smartphone

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity, Discipleship, family

I know what you are thinking after reading the title.  Maybe you have a teen or pre-teen and you are trying to decide whether or not to get them a phone.  You may be thinking, “Yes, I know they might end up spending too much time on their phone, but I will feel safer knowing that they have one.  I’ll be able to check on them whenever I want to see exactly where they are.  I’ll be able to call them any time I need them and they’ll be able to get a hold of me any time that they need.”  When the subject comes up with your kid all you hear is, “Mom/Dad all of my friends have one.  How am I supposed to keep up with what is going on if I don’t have one? This is just how things are living in our world today, you know?  If I don’t have one then I am going to be made fun of.  I will be the only one of my friends without one.”  I know it can be hard to say “no.”  You can rationalize the good in your mind.  But, I want you to strongly consider saying, “no” to that Smartphone request.   If you say, “no,” know that you will be in the minority.  However, I truly believe that you and your family will be far happier and safer if your teen doesn’t have one in their hands.  I believe that it is most wise to say no to the Smartphone until after High School.  Let me provide a few reasons as to why.

The Addiction Factor:

Let’s face it, Smartphones are addictive.  Most anyone can see it, and recent statistics confirm it.  We also know that many teenagers already deal with compulsive behavior.  Putting addiction and compulsion together is a receipt for disaster.  This is not just a teenager issue.  The reality is many adults, who didn’t grow up in the digital age, have a near addiction to their Smartphones.  If adults have a hard time finding the balance with Smartphones, teens who are still trying to learn these skills have little chance of overcoming it on their own.   According to a recent article by Harvard University, when a person gets a social media notification, their brain sends a shot of dopamine to the brain causing a euphoric experience.  Dopamine is most often associated with food, exercise, romance, sex, gambling, drugs, and now that little black pixelized box in the hands of hundreds of millions of people. When many of our teens struggle enough with compulsive behavior does it seem wise to give them something that is going to tempt them toward that end even more?  Paul, in I Corinthians 9:27 writes, “but I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”  In this day and age it takes discipline to control our phone habits; discipline that many teens lack the desire or self-government to do.  If we want to help our teens hone in on discipline and self-control then putting a smart phone in their hand will likely contradict this.           

The Pornography Factor:

When many of us were teens pornography was hard to come by (praise the Lord).  But that is not true in today’s world.  27% of all unfiltered internet is pornographic.  In 2020 a study was done that showed some 51% of all 11-12 year-olds polled were aware of and had access to pornography, 13-14 year-olds . . . . 66%, 15-16 year-olds . . . an astonishing 79% .  It is available on almost every social media platform.  The accessibility to pornography is near unfettered.  If a teen has a Smartphone, internet access, and a desire to see pornography, they can find it in a matter of seconds.  Pornography can rob your soul (Matthew 16:26).  It can cost personal relationships (Ephesians 5:3).  It can cost a person sexual joy with their future spouse (Song of Solomon 8:4).  Paul says that we are to “Flee sexual immorality”(I Corinthians 6:18).  A loving father or mother would not give their child a pornographic magazine nor a XXX movie for their birthday.  However, you are inviting these things into your home and the mind of a pubescent curious teen by giving them a Smartphone.  You may not be able to keep your son or daughter from having lustful thoughts, but you can keep the digital temptation and call of the Siren out of their hands.              

The Time-Sink Factor:

According to Common Sense Media, 53% of American children own a Smartphone by age 11.  The average teen in the U.S. spends some 7 hours a day on their Smartphone (outside of school and any extracurricular activities.)  This is a lot of screen time. Just like adults, teens can easily get sucked into the blue faced vortex of their Smartphone as they mindlessly scroll through social media.  The Apostle Paul commanded the church in Ephesus to redeem the time, because the days are evil (Ephesians 5:16).  There is a place for leisure.  There is a place for playing games, reading articles, and catching up with friends.  But, we all know the allure of that digital mistress.  Teens have so many wonderful things that they could be doing with their free time that could be productive.  Time is a gift from God for teens.  They will never again have as much free time as they do now.  This is precious time that they will never get back.  Smartphones can be the source of a massive waste of time if not checked.  Time is a gift.  Help your teens to be good stewards of it.      

The Safety Factor:

Many parents may think that there is more danger outside of the home than in the digital world.  But recent statics have shown that violent crime has significantly dropped over the past 30 years.   One of the most dangerous places for teens to be today is actually online. Cyberbullying is no joke.  It is reported that between 50-60 percent of teens who are on social media have been cyberbullied.  Since the invention of the Smartphone 10 years ago teen suicide rates have quadrupled.  Diagnosed anxiety has more than doubled since the invention of the Smartphone.  These are some alarming statistics, both of which are closely tied to Smartphone usage. 

Yet, bullying is not the only danger.  There is story after story about predatory behavior as well.  It can come in the form of sexual, emotional, or psychological abuse through apps and other online sources.  This can happen without the other person ever being in the same room.  Sadly, some of these encounters have eventually led to real physical abuse.

Now this isn’t limited to Smartphone users.  This can happen through any device that hooks up to the internet.  But know this: if your child’s Smartphone connects to the internet the safety factor increases exponentially.  Jesus told his disciples, “be wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16).  As parents we must heed these words from Christ when considering the safety of our teen or pre-teen.  You must ask yourself, “Am I being as wise as a serpent when considering this phone?”  Because, I promise, smartphones are not nearly as innocent as they may seem.   

Applying Wisdom

What I have laid out here, I believe, it to be based on biblical wisdom.  I am aware that a Smartphone itself is not sinful.  However, we must ask if it is wise and best for our teenage sons and daughters? I know there are circumstances where a Smartphone may be necessary for your teen (to monitor their health for example).  I know in this day and age it will likely put your teen on the outside looking in with their friends.  But remember this: you are their parent.  You get to decide what is best for them, not their peers.  Not society.  Don’t give in to your son or daughter’s tears or youthful persuasion.   You are going to stand before God to answer for how you shepherded your home.  Fathers, you particularly will be judged on how you protected your family as the head of your home in this matter.  So, I ask you to sincerely consider what has been written here before busting out your credit card for another monthly payment on that $800 iPhone for your 13-year-old.  However, if you have prayed through it and you still believe that your teen “needs” a phone, let me provide a couple of safe(ish) options for you. 

The Gabb Z2 phone: 

It looks like a Smartphone, but without the worries.  It has no social media, no web browsing, no games, and no app store.  It cannot hook up to the internet at all.  So, no worries.  What you do get with it is 14 essential apps: music, phone, messaging, contacts, camera, video, gallery, calendar, calculator, clock, voice recorder, FM radio, file manager and settings.  It also has a built in GPS.  If you are looking for a smart phone that isn’t so smart, this one might fit the bill (It is only $100).

The dumb phone: 

That’s right, a simple flip phone that we all had back in the day that takes horrible pictures and can only text and call.  If your teen needs a phone, the old trusty flip phone may be the best choice.

No phone at all:

I think it is wise to have an extra cell phone or two for your family.  When your children are old enough to drive it seems wise that they would have a phone with them in case it is needed while driving.  However, I know many families who just have a “family cell phone” that they grab while going out the door.  It isn’t any one person’s phone.  It is just for the purpose of having access to the phone when it is needed.  It is not constantly on a person but is picked up when walking out the door.   

Concluding Thoughts          

My final admonition as I close would be to take 90 minutes to sit down with your spouse  and watch the film Social Media Dangers Documentary — Childhood 2.0.  I am convinced that it will open your eyes to a world that you may have never knew existed, but it is one that your teen or soon-to-be teen will live in (for better or worse) when it comes to Smartphones and social media.  May the Lord guide you in this area with his rich biblical wisdom.  And for the sake of your children and future grandchildren remember this little proverb: when it comes to a phone for your teen, the dumber it is, the wiser and better off your kid will be.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

What should happen on Sunday? The 8 “E’s” of the Lord’s Day.

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity, Preaching, Worship

The Lord’s Day is special.  It is the only day of the week where most of us get a break from the normal rhythms of our life.  It is also a day when we get a small foretaste of eternity.  Richard Baxter provides a great reminder of this when he said, “What fitter day to ascend to heaven, than that on which He arose from earth, and fully triumphed over death and hell. Use your Sabbaths as steps to glory, till you have passed them all, and are there arrived.”  What a blessing that Sunday, the Lord’s Day, is. 

            When I think about what should take place on a typical Lord’s Day I find myself coming up with at least 8 things that should be present each week.    

Exalting  

            The Lord’s Day is the Lord’s day.  It is about celebrating the resurrection of our Lord.  It is about worshiping Him and Him alone.  This is how the day should begin and end.  It is an entire day that is set aside for this primary purpose; exalting the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  We must do it with our words, our actions, and our attitudes.  If you are not doing this primarily then you are not truly taking this day seriously.   The day must be a day of exaltation of our Lord. 

Exposition

            This word simply means “to expose.”  It means to comprehensively explain an idea.  Primarily this will be done through preaching.  Expository preaching is simple, but effective.  It simply means that you read the Word, explain the Word as it would have been understood in its original context by careful exegesis, and apply the original meaning of the Word to the listening audience of today.  Expository preaching may look and sound different according to the preacher, but this is what we should be listening to on any given Lord’s Day coming from the pulpit. It is through proper exposition that we find the bread of life and the living water that we need.        

Equipping

            Part of the pastor’s job is to “equip the saints for the work of ministry” (Ephesians 4). While this can be done during a Wednesday prayer service or a Tuesday morning bible study, it should be a part of the Lord’s Day, as well.  In the hearing of prayers, it should equip us better to pray.  In the singing of songs, it should equip us for personal worship.  In the giving of offering, it should equip us to give sacrificially every day of our life.  The Lord’s Day should be a day of equipping. 

Edifying

            Edification should be part of our normal Lord’s Day as well.  To edify means to build someone up.  In the Christian life it has to do with building the character of a person.  This is typically done through teaching but it is also done by the ordinary means of grace.  It can also take place through good and godly conversation with a wiser brother or sister before or after church.  This, no doubt, can and should take place at time other than on Sunday, but the Lord’s Day provides a unique opportunity for it.  It is the one day when your closest brothers and sisters in Christ are gathered together.  It is when the things of God are at the forefront of our minds.  The Lord’s Day is a good day to be built up.  It is a good day for the work of edification. 

Exhorting

            Exhortation is what sets teaching apart from preaching.  Most often teaching is more about the transfer of information.  The preacher wants you not only to understand the information, but also has a deep desire for you to do what has been taught.  This is where exhortation comes in.  To exhort means “to urgently call the listener to respond.” A mother may exhort her son to clear his room before his father gets home.  A coach may exhort their athlete to push through with two more reps while bench-pressing, believing that those reps is what will push the team over the edge in victory.  Yet, for Christians, we should go to church with an expectation of being exhorted from the Word.  The Lord’s Day is a day for exhortation. 

Encouraging

            There should not be a more encouraging day on your calendar each week than Sunday.  When we go to church we get to meet with our spiritual family.  We get to fellowship, to serve, to worship in song on the Lord’s Day.  We get fed by the Word in Sunday school or small groups.  We get to pray for one another.  We get to feast upon the Word through preaching.  In all these ways, the Lord’s Day should be a day of great encouragement.

Evangelizing

              To evangelize literally means “to announce or declare the good news.”  This good news is that Jesus has come to set the captives free and to save all who believe in him.  He came to die for his bride, the church, by providing himself as the perfect, blameless, and righteous substitute.  He stood in their place and took the just wrath that his people deserved.  Yet, he didn’t stay dead.  He rose from the dead on the third day as our victorious and conquering King. The good news is that for all who profess Jesus as Lord and repent of their sins shall be saved.  The Lord’s Day is all about celebrating this.  It is a day where, through the proclamation of the gospel, those who have not yet bent their knee to Christ are evangelized.  Historically, it has been a day when many in the church have purposefully set aside time to evangelize their neighbors and friends. It is the one day when the evangelion (Greek for “the good news”) should be shared from the pulpit to the neighborhood park.           

Ease

            You may have heard that the Lord’s Day is supposed to be a day of rest.  This is a hold over for the seventh day Sabbath that we find rooted in creation and then codified in the law of God to Israel.  According to Hebrews 4:9-11, the Christian’s Sabbath rest is now ultimately in Christ and not the seventh day of the week.  We are not bound to the Old Covenant’s demands of Sabbath keeping as Israel was, although many of the principles still apply for the Lord’s Day.  Just as God rested on the seventh day of creation after working for six days, so man was meant for both work and rest.  Just as Israel was commanded not to work on the Sabbath but to rest and worship, man was meant to rest from his normal work and worship the Lord on it.  The Lord’s Day is the day set aside to do that for most of us (duties of necessity and mercy aside).  Sunday should not look like every other day.  This is not what the Lord intended for his people.  Matthew 12:8 teaches us that the Sabbath (and by extension, the Lord’s Day) was made for man’s benefit, not to enslave man.  It is made as a day for us to rest and worship to rejuvenate both our physical body and our spiritual soul.  Thus, the Lord’s Day, even if it is filled with morning worship, evening worship, and fellowship in between, is supposed to look different than the other six days the Lord has given us.  It is supposed to be a day of ease for the soul, even if the day tires the body at times.     

            The Lord’s Day is a gift to God’s people.  It is not to be a burden but seen as a blessing.    Remember that as you are preparing this Sunday: a gift, a blessing.  Be reminded of the 8 “E’s” of the Lord’s Day and enjoy (a 9th “E”) every second of it.  You will never regret it.      

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell 

Fathers . . . You Must be a Fighter

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity, Discipleship, manhood, Parents

Fathers, you must be a fighter.

            The Lord may have given you a strong personality.  If so, you must fight to keep it in check and submit it unto the Lord.  Your strong personality needs to be a sanctified personality. The Lord may have given you a more passive or meek personality.  Praise the Lord for tenderness and meekness!  Jesus said, “Blessed are the meek.”  Nevertheless, your meekness cannot be used as an excuse to lay your fight down.  You must fight against that possible vein of passivity. 

            If you are a father or a husband you have been called to be the protector of your home, no matter your personality (I Corinthians 16:13).  The Lord has given you that personality for his glory.  May it be sanctified and may it cause you to fight. 

Ways to fight for your children . . .

Fight to protect your children’s eyes (Matthew 6:22-23)

Fight to protect your children’s mind (Romans 12:2)

Fight to protect your children’s heart (Proverbs 4:23)

Fight to protect them from pride (James 2:16)

Fight to protect them from the sin of this age (I John 2:16)

Fight to protect them from laziness (Proverbs 13:4)

Fight to protect them from a low view of church (I Timothy 3:15)

Fight to protect them from a high view of self (Proverbs 16:5)

Fight to protect them from low view of self (Genesis 1:27)

Fight to protect their entertainment choices (Philippians 4:8)

Fight to protect their love for you (Ephesians 6:1-3) 

            Fathers, you are to be the earthly protector of your home.  It is time to get off the couch and prepare to fight.  I assure you . . . the world, the flesh, and the devil are all fighting for your children.  The Lord has given you the tools to fight and win.  You’d better get in the fight.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

“How I trained my little ones to sit still and quiet” (by Jessica Burrell)

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity, Church, Discipleship, family

This is a follow-up post to my previous post “Help, The Church Nursery is Closed!” in which I reference training your children at home to be content to sit quietly.  Once you are out in public, it is too late to ask them to behave in some new way that you have never taught them.  This post is an effort to convey how I trained my little ones in the peace and comfort of our home.  The Lord says to train up our children in the way they should go (Prov. 22:6), to train them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph 6:4), and to teach them to have a quiet and gentle spirit, which the Scriptures say is “precious in God’s sight” (1 Pet. 3:4).  I have tried to apply these Scriptures in some practical ways at home while teaching my children to sit quietly and respectfully.

So how do you start? Start slowly.  Start with 5 minutes, maybe less.  Sit on the couch with Mommy and children together reading a book or singing a hymn, all engaged in the same activity.  The purpose is to stay in the designated place for the duration of the time.  Most children love this quality time of having Mommy’s attention to themselves, and they rarely have any trouble complying.  The next step is to tell the child that they must read (or look at) their own book while Mommy reads a book separate from the child or works on something independent from the children, while still sitting on the couch right beside them.  In the first step, the child is the central focus.  In this second phase, the child will begin to realize that the point of being on the couch is not for Mommy to cater to their wishes, but rather for them to find contentment on their own.  While you need to be instructing the child in step one, this second step is more where reinforcing and teaching the child your expectations really comes in.  Tell the child “you may not squirm around and climb down to the floor.” And “Mommy has a timer set for 5 minutes. When it beeps, we will be all done.  Then you may get down and play.”  The child may not ask “how much longer” or similar questions.  The child must learn to be content to wait patiently until the time is done and Mommy says that it is time to get down.

I should clarify that “Still and quiet” time in our home meant no talking or moving around.  You stay in your place and entertain yourself with one quiet toy or book.  If this object was used to harass a sibling, it would be taken away, and the remainder of the time would be spent with hands folded neatly in the lap.  I do not exaggerate when I say that I can count on one hand how many times objects had to be taken away from my children in public.  They learned this lesson very well at home!  Consider anything a small child will normally do when they do not want to be still…roll around on the seat, scoot down to the floor, then they end up under the seat, or army-crawling to a nearby location.  Their innate intent is to push the limits and see how far is too far.  You as the mother need to decide what will be acceptable for your children while in public.  Are you okay with them sitting on the floor at the doctor’s office or crawling on the floor down to the end of the pew at church?  If not, be sure that you are firm in your training at home.  For us, no arm waving, clapping, or moving off the seat was permitted.  Depending on age, lying down quietly in one’s spot (not rolling) was permitted.

After the children have gotten the hang of a 5-minute interval of being quiet and occupying themselves with Mommy on the couch, the next step is to have Mommy get off the couch and do something else nearby, while leaving the children on the couch having their “still and quiet” time.  For example, I will tell the children to come and sit. Then, once they have been reminded of the rules of “still and quiet” time, I will step away while warning the children that I will be watching to make sure they do a good job.  I might sit in another area of the same room and make a call to schedule dental cleanings, while maintaining frequent eye contact with the children so they know I am paying attention to their behavior.  If a little one decides they aren’t interested in the training session, their behavior is quickly dealt with and they resume their time on the couch.  Quick and consistent discipline is necessary in this training time.  You will be training your children regardless of how you handle the situation.  While they are in the living room, it might be easy to warn them, “Mommy said get back on the couch… I mean it!”  But consider if this method will be an option in church or in the doctor’s office.  You want to train them to listen the first time, not the second or third.  They must learn to obey immediately and to realize that there will be swift consequences when they do not.  There will be no “easy out” if they disobey.  The training session will continue on after discipline has been handed out.

Once the children are able to sit quietly while you perform other tasks in the same room, the real test comes.  “Still and quiet” while Mommy leaves the room!  This was always our children’s favorite part of the training times.  I would have the children sit (they were permitted one quiet toy) while I left the room to set a timer and then come back in to check on them and see if they were still in the same place and quiet.  I might go put a letter in the mailbox but quickly return and pop in the room to surprise the children.  This can be a very fun activity.  The children never know what corner you might pop out around or what you might be wearing on your head when you return.  The “away” might be anywhere from 5 seconds to 15 seconds to begin with.  You want to help them keep their attention on the task at hand.  Don’t make this sitting session a miserable thing for them.  My children would often forget the toy they had in their lap and prefer to watch out for when I would pop my head back in the room to see how well they were doing.  I would give silent accolades whenever I peeked in and saw that the children were still doing as I had asked.

You may notice a natural progression in this: very small and familiar steps to begin with, then moving up to bigger steps.  This will not happen overnight.  I would recommend having a practice session every day, or a five-minute session in the morning and another one in the afternoon, depending on the age and personality of your child.

After the children can manage a 5-minute segment of time on the couch on their own with Mommy in and out of the room, it is time to add more time to the clock.  I would graduate them to 10-15 minutes on the couch with one quiet activity of their choice, whether it is a toy, a reading book, or a notebook with a pencil or crayon.  If the children are misbehaving or not obeying the way they should, the offending child must be removed and disciplined and brought back to resume their sitting time.  Meanwhile, the other children are expected to continue sitting quietly.  This has helped immensely during the years that my husband has been in a pastoral position and has been unable to assist me in the pew with the children.  I have been able to take the rowdy child out of the service to address behavior while leaving all of the other children (yes, even a two-year-old) sitting quietly in the pew without me in the room, knowing that they would sit still because they dare not be the next one leaving the sanctuary with me.

I have one last comment on praising your little ones for doing well.  Rewarding our children when they do well is not the same as bribery.  Bribery is a parent’s last attempt at getting what they want from their child.  It is a negotiation that puts the child in control of the situation and puts the parent at their mercy.  Rewards and positive affirmation for good behavior are very different than that.  When I ask my child to do something and they do it right away and with a cheerful heart, rewarding them in some way is a great way to help encourage and motivate the child to do it again.  They have honored me, and I want to bless them because of it.  This is a good and wholesome way to encourage good behavior in our children.

In my other post, “Help, The Church Nursery is Closed!” I talk about preparing for Sunday morning by starting on Saturday.  I mention that “less is more” when packing activity bags for kids in church or the doctor’s office, and I give a few other ideas like finding a seat near the exits and arriving early to claim it.

I hope this post has been an encouragement to you!  It is not always easy, and it is never a fast process to train up our little ones in the way they should go.  But, as the Lord commands us to do it, I hope this will be of some small encouragement to you as we strive to please Him!

Jessica E. Burrell

Husbands, Are You Willing To Die For Your Wife?

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity, family, Marriage, Wedding

I know I am going to date myself, but at one point in time I was a young starry-eyed romantic.  At 14, 15, and 16 years old I would stay up listening to the “soft rock” station so as to be able to tape-record the love songs that I liked (Yes, that is the way we once had to record songs . . .  on a blank cassette tape, before there was online file sharing).  One of my favorite songs was by the early 90’s Canadian star, Bryan Adams.  The song’s title was “Everything I do, I do it for you.”  Some of my favorite lyrics, “Yeah, I would fight for you. I’d lie for you. Walk the wire for you. Yeah, I’d die for you. You know it’s true. Everything I do. I do it for you.”  As a teenage boy, there didn’t seem to be anything more romantic than a song like this.  Yet, now as a married man, and having a much more sensible idea of romance I ask myself, and to those reading this, “are you really willing to die for your spouse?”  Now that the feelings of romance are much less than they might have been before.  How about now that life seems to just be routine?  Are you stilling willing to say words like the above mentioned with as much enthusiasm as a young teenage romantic?  If you truly have a Christ-centered marriage, I would hope the answer would be yes . . . though not in the same way as you would have as a freshman in high school.

I have heard it said, “It is harder to live as a martyr than to die as one.” I believe the same is true when we think about our marriages as well. A one time major sacrifice can be easier than a life filled with little ones.  So, my question is, “Are you willing to die for your spouse daily?”

Dying According to the Scriptures

Our daily Christian life is to be one filled with dying to oneself (Matthew 16:24-26).  It is to be one about putting others before ourselves (Philippians 2:3).  It is about doing unto others, as you would have them do unto you (Luke 6:31).  As we look to Christ, and worship him, this is the task that he assigns us to.  In other words, Christianity is not a self-centered religion.  It is not a religion of romance.  It is to be Christ-centered, which leads us to have a love for others.  Dying to oneself is to be the daily habit of the Christian.  Are you willing to die daily for your wife’s needs?  Are you willing to put her desires before your own?  If we truly desire to keep the Lord’s commands there is no better place to start than with the one you made a covenant with.  Are you dying for your wife according to scripture?

Dying as Christ Died

You are likely aware of Ephesians 5 where Paul speaks of a Christian marriage in terms of the covenant between Christ and the Church.  Husbands are told to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”  We don’t see this sacrificial covenant love through the eyes of a Greco-Roman romanticized understanding of love.  No, we understand and see this sacrifice that was filled with blood and wrath.  It was a love that led to a substitutionary death and Paul says that this is how we as men are to love our wives.  So men I ask you, “Are you willing to die for your wives?” Christ died for his bride when his bride deserved to die.  If this was some Hollywood tale it would have made for a great romantic movie.  However, this is not a Hollywood tale.  This is the truth about a holy God sending his holy son to die for an unholy bride which he in turns makes holy.  Christ didn’t die for her out of a desire to be romantic instead he died for her in order to make her righteous.

Romance is a wonderful thing.  If I am honest, I would say that I still enjoy going back from time to time and listening to some of those sappy romantic songs from my youth.  They are good for nostalgia and date nights with my wife.  However, when I hear that old Canadian pop-star sing “Everything I do, I do it for you” it speaks to me in a much different way today.  After being married for 12 years I hear, “Am I willing to die to my desires to have a little free time in order to be there for her?  Am I willing to free her to go to Bible study on Saturday while I watch our 7 kids?  Am I willing to lose sleep to take care of our sick 2-year-old so she can catch up on some sleep?”  My understanding of dying for her has changed a lot over the past 12 years.  I can safely say that I love my bride more today than I did the day we said our vows.  I really had no clue what being willing to die for her meant back then.  It looks much different now.  Yet, when I look to the Lord and His Word I start to see it a little better as each year passes.

Husbands, were you once a romantic but now that your wedding day is over a decade or a quarter century ago have you lost that loving feeling?  If you were once willing to hang the moon, climb the highest mountain, swim the widest ocean, or even die for your love back then, are you still willing to die for her today?  I would encourage you to look to the scriptures and to Christ to see what this looks like in the mundanity of life for your wife.  Christ died for his bride, and as long as we live we should be willing to die for ours as well.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

Don’t Let Satan Rob You of Your Repentance

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity

Repentance is one of the greatest gifts God has ever given His people.  While repentance is something that is a command (Acts 17:30), we also see that it is a generous gift (Acts 11:18, II Timothy 2:25) as well.  A few years ago, I was reading a book by the late Dr. RC Sproul.  In it, he provided an illustration that has profoundly impacted my way of thinking about repentance.  He wrote about an encounter that he once had with one of his parishioners.  He explained:

 “A man distraught about a guilt problem once came to me saying, ‘I’ve asked God to forgive me of a sin over and over, but I still feel guilty.  What can I do?’ This situation did not involve the multiple repetitions of the same sin, but the multiple confession of a sin committed once.

‘You must pray again and ask God to forgive you,’ I replied.  A look of frustrated impatience came to his eyes. ‘But, I’ve done that!’ he exclaimed.  ‘I’ve asked God over and over again to forgive me.  What good will it do to ask him again?’

In my reply I applied the proverbial firm force of the board to the head of the mule: ‘I’m not suggesting that you ask God to forgive you for that sin.  I’m asking you to seek forgiveness for your arrogance.’

The man was incredulous.  ‘Arrogance? What arrogance?’ the man was assuming that his repeated entireties for a pardon were proof positive of his humility.  He was so contrite over his sin that he felt he had to repent for it forever.  His sin was too great to be pardoned by one dose of repentance.  He was going to suffer for his sin no matter how gracious God was.   Pride had fixed a barrier to this man’s acceptance of forgiveness. When God promised us that He will forgive us, we insult His integrity when we refuse to accept it.  To forgive ourselves after God has forgiven us is a duty as well as a privilege.[1]”

I don’t think this man’s experience is unique.  Indeed, I think it is actually very common. However, it is thinking like this that has allowed Satan to rob us of the joy of repentance.  This should never be the case for the believer. There are two ways that Satan can rob a Christian of their repentance, yet we don’t have to let him.

Don’t let him trick you into thinking you don’t need to repent of the “small” sins.

“Little sins” can often go unnoticed by the human eye and heart.  Let’s say that you didn’t pay enough money at the parking meter today, and you ended up getting a ticket.  Truth be told, it kind of frustrated you and Romans 13 doesn’t really feel like it applies here right?  Your husband did something to hurt you, though he didn’t even know it.  You go to bed angry, but by the next morning you just brush it off and go on.  Your child has talked back for the third time today, and that was the last straw.  You discipline them, but you did so in anger.  You justify your over-reaching discipline by saying to yourself, “They were in the wrong.  They didn’t honor me.”  It seems like small stuff to many, but it is not in the eyes of God.  Though it may seem insignificant, it is the local government’s right to put in parking meters on their property.  And as Christians, we are called to “obey the government” and “those who refuse to obey the laws of the land are refusing to obey God” (Romans 13:1-2).  Even though your husband may have frustrated you, it was your responsibility to “not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26).  While your children needed discipline for their dishonor, we as parents are to discipline them in love, and not out of anger or done so out of control (Ephesians 6:4).  When we let these “little sins” go unrepented, we are robbed of our proper communion with the Lord.  Don’t let Satan convince you that those “small” sins are not worth praying about.

Don’t let him drag you down with guilt from past sins if they are forgiven sins.

Guilt and shame have their place. The Holy Spirit uses them to bring a person to repentance (II Corinthians 7:10). Yet, once a person repents of their sin, then their guilt and shame are removed (Romans 8:1). This is the beauty of repentance.  The psalmist reminds us of a great truth when he wrote, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12).  When we sin, we must repent.  When we repent we must realize that God is the one to whom we have offended.   And while there still may be earthly consequences for our sins, we can rest in knowing that our standing with God is righteous.  We do not have to crumble under the weight of guilt and shame the way Dr. Sproul’s parishioner did.  Satan would love to do this to you.  If he can rob you of your joy and freedom in Christ by reminding you of your past sin, he will do so.  Yet in Christ, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).   Let us all remember as Dr. Sproul has said, “When God promised us that He will forgive us, we insult His integrity when we refuse to accept it.  To forgive ourselves after God has forgiven us is a duty as well as a privilege.[2]”

When we turn away from our sin, we are to turn to God.  When we do this, he accepts our repentant plea.  When God says that something is good, we must believe it.  Repentance is a gift from God to his people. So, next time you want to forget about that little sin, DON’T.  Repent of it, and be freed from the guilt of it.  The next time you want to fall to your knees under the weight of a past sin that Satan brings to your remembrance, DON’T.  Plead the blood and know that God has forgiven you of that sin, and in that forgiveness, you no longer must bear the weight of guilt and shame.  Jesus took it for you.  You bear it no more.   Don’t let Satan rob you of your repentance.  If you are the Lord’s, you are free in Christ, so matter what Satan may try to make you think.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

[1] Sproul, R.C. Does Prayer Change Things. (Lake Mary: Ligonier Ministries, 2009), 39-40.

[2] Sproul, R.C. Does Prayer Change Things. (Lake Mary: Ligonier Ministries, 2009), 40.

Take Your Bible to Church, Not Just Your Phone

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity, Technology

The Bible is the bestselling book of all time.  Year after year, it is always at the top of the list.  We are blessed to live in a day and age when we have more access to the Bible than any other time in history.  If you have a smart phone, you can even download a free app that will allow you to have multiple verses at your fingertips and in the palm or your hand.  For this, I am thankful.  I am thankful that we have so many tools that will allow us to get the Bible into our hearts and heads due to technology.   Technology can be a beautiful thing.  However, such great advancements in technology can also come with a cost.  I am just on the outside of the millennial bubble.  I believe my unofficial title is an “Xennials” since I was born in 1981.  I have been in church for the 36 years.  I have seen all sorts of fads come and go (WWJD bracelets and all).  One that I have noticed an increase of more in the last 6 or 7 years is that of people leaving their old bound copies of their Bibles at home and replacing them with a digital device, which is most often their phone.  I get the allure of having everything so accessible and it all fit in your pocket.  However, I believe we are missing out on something if we dump our leather bound Bibles for a sleek pocket sized digital one.  Here are a few reasons I prefer a hard copy of my Bible over a digital one.

The Distraction:

When I was a child I would often get into trouble for being distracted or being a distraction to others in church.  Now, we hold in our hands the ultimate distraction: the smart phone.  So much of our lives are on the little hand-held computer.  Any information we could ever possibly want to know is there.  When someone likes our Facebook post, we get an alert.  When someone retweets you, there is a notification.  An early morning e-mail finds its way into your inbox, and you get the little shake of you phone.  Most of us are drawn to those notifications like a moth to a flame.  We just have to see what is going on in the world and what someone has said about us.  When you use your phone as your Bible (or any device that is connected to the internet) there is always a great temptation to quickly check that alert.  If you are not disciplined, the next thing you know, you are replying to that e-mail and all of the sudden you don’t even know what the pastor is saying.  You have gotten sucked in by the digital vortex.  This is one of the blessings of using a physical copy of the Bible.  You can set your phone on silent, and never get those distracting buzzes and pop-ups.  You can just enjoy and engage in the Bible, the worship of God, and the sermon.

The Sound:

This may just be me, but one of my favorite sounds in the world is to hear those thin pieces of paper in your Bible flip from one page to the next.  It sends off a sound that people are looking, listening, and engaging.  The sound of screen tapping just simply isn’t the same.  While there is nothing biblical or theological about the rustling of paper over the sound of a finger tapping, it is just a simple pleasure that is missed when we use our little computers over a bound copy of scripture.

The Feel:

Much like the sound of pages turning in the Bible, another simple pleasure that is missed on our smart phones is the feel of the Bible in your hands.  There is just no other book quite like it.  One of the benefits of having that physical copy is the ability to take notes in it.  While there are certainly ways of taking notes digitally, the reality is often we do not get around to looking at them later.  Just like we never print all of those HD photos that we take on our phones and loose when the phone breaks, the same is often true about our notes.    However, any time I flip open my Bible I can see notes that were taken 8 or 10 years ago, and that is an encouragement to me.  I don’t get the same familiarity with “My Bible” when I use a digital version.  It just isn’t the same.  It just feels different.

The History:

Ever since Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press in 1439 people have been printing the Bible for public use.  During the time of the Reformation we saw an explosion of different translations.  Primarily before the press was made the Latin Bible of the Catholic Church was virtually the only Bible in use, but after the press was invented it was not long before the Lord used it to start printing modern translations for a modern vernacular for the common people.  For the past 600 years we have had hard copies of the Bible.  Before then, there were scrolls, codex, and a variety of other types of materials used for holy writ.  This is what people like Augustine, Tyndale, Calvin, Zwingli, Spurgeon, and D.L. Moody used.  If a digital copy had been available for them to use, I am sure that they would have taken advantage of it, but the hard copy of scripture has a long history.  It is my hope that we never lose it in place of pixels, glass, and hard plastic.

The invention of the digital Bible has been a marvel and a blessing for this age.  In closed countries, the digital Bible may very well be all a person may own.  For this fact alone, we should give praise for it.  If a computerized version of the Bible allows you to read more, meditate often, and memorize scriptures, by all means . . . use it.  I use it almost on a daily basis.  However, when I walk thought the doors of my local church I prefer the feel of a heavy leather book filled with 1000 pages of God’s holy Word over the smooth and shinny glimmer of high definition pixels on my phone.  Is a person more holy for having their big ESV Study Bible in hand over the person carrying 20 versions with Logos Bible Software in the palm of their hand?  By no means, but I do think there is something special about the old book.  So, next Sunday before you walk out of the house let me encourage you to think about taking that beautiful, sometimes cumbersome, book with you and not just your phone for worship.  You might be surprised how much you enjoy hearing those pages turn, feeling that old familiar book that is filled with such history, and being less distracted all the while.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell

Is there still value in being a mentor?

by romans122life, posted in Bible, Christianity, Church, Discipleship

When you hear the word “mentor” what comes to mind?  Maybe it brings to mind a school teacher who stayed after school with you to help you learn your math.  Maybe it is a coach who spent countless hours with you perfecting your curve ball in high school.  Maybe, like me, you think of a man or woman from you church who you simply liked spending time with and watching how they did life.  I think too often we look at a mentoring relationship as some big glorified thing that we wish we had with someone but don’t really know how it works . . . so we never end up doing it.  I had a professor in Bible College one time say that “everyone needs a Timothy, Barnabas, and Paul in their life.”  A Timothy is someone who you are usually older than (for sure more spiritually mature) that you are purposefully investing in.  A Barnabas is someone who is more along the same spiritual maturity level who you walk with, try to encourage, and hold each other accountable (Proverbs 27:17).  A spiritual Paul is someone who is older and wiser than you who is, in essence, mentoring you.  Paul writes about this very type of relationship in his letter to Titus.  He writes in the second chapter that older men are to teach younger men . . . and older women are to teach younger women . . . “in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified,  sound in speech which is beyond reproach . . .”

There is so much value in having and being a mentor.  There is no exact science to it.  It is not laid out in scripture like the 10 commandments, but the foundation is there for us to build upon.  If you are already mentoring someone, praise the Lord; maybe this will encourage you to keep on.  If you are not mentoring or being mentored by someone, maybe this will encourage you to consider the great value in it.  Here are four areas to consider as you mentor someone or are being mentored.

Meeting with them:

This may seem obvious, but if you do not plan to meet, you will not.  We are all very busy in life and planning a set time allows for putting it down on a calendar.   Set a time to meet (weekly, bi-weekly, monthly) and make every effort to be there.  This can be in a formal setting where you meet at church or a more informal time where you meet at a coffee shop, or your own home.  The point is this . . . that you are face-to-face.  There is no real substitute for the physical face-to-face meeting.  Plan a time.  Get together.

Read with them:

Before you meet for the first time you should discuss what you would like to study together.  If you mentor someone for more than a year I suggest mixing it up between a book (or theme) of scripture and a good practical book on theology.  It is God’s word (through the power of the Holy Spirit, mind you) that changes people.  Choose a verse to memorize together over a week or month.  Read and discuss a chapter of scripture each week (or when you gather).  Keep this part short (10-20 min).  You can also get a great book that is applicable to where they are.  Read a chapter, hit the highlights, and discuss how it can be applied.  The point is that you are mining the depth of God together, and you are helping them to understand how it works in their daily life.

Pray with them:

D. L. Moody was making a visit to Scotland in the 1800’s and he opened one of his talks at a local grade school with the rhetorical question, “What is prayer?” Hundreds of children raised their hands. He decided to call on one of the young men to answer.  The young boy said, “Prayer is an offering up of our desires unto God, in the name of Christ, by the help of his Spirit, with confession of our sins, and thankful acknowledgment of his mercies.”  This was the answer to question #98 in the Westminster Catechism.  Moody responded by saying, “Be thankful, son, that you were born in Scotland.”  Prayer is something that is so simple, yet so profound and powerful.  Every time you meet, you should start and end in prayer.  Jesus prayed for and with his disciples.  Paul prayed with the groups of people that he mentored and taught.  Pray through scripture.  Pray for each other.  Make it a priority.  Make it genuine.

Enjoy life with them:

            One of the best, and informal, parts of being a mentor is simply doing life together.  By this I mean just hanging out and/or having fun.  Going fishing together or going on a hike together can bring wonderful bonding time.  There is so much to be taught and learned simply by living life together.  Some of the most important lessons I have learned have come from this type of informal setting.  When a person is a Christian, it should come out in every area of their life.   I am sure that John and the other disciples learned much from Jesus that was never written down (John 21:25).  Part of being a mentor is simply spending time, asking questions, and investing in someone’s daily life.  The formal is needed (Bible study and prayer), but do not neglect the informal.  This is where real life application of scripture is shown and not just the passing of knowledge.

Mentor-ship comes in a variety of different ways.  Young children need mentors.  Teens need mentors.  Your 20-somethings need mentors.  New Christians need mentors.  Newly married couples need mentoring couples.  So, here is the question: where are you on this list?  Are you in need of a mentor?  If so, then pray about finding an older man or woman in your church to walk with you.  Are you retired and looking for a place to invest in the kingdom?  Find a younger man or woman . . . or even young married couple and invest in their lives.  Find your spiritual Timothy, Barnabas, and Paul and get to work for the glory and honor of God.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Adam B. Burrell